Roundabout

The bitter cold and blowing wind

reminds me of the nights I sinned

spent running from the fight

I spewed the venom through my tears

the contests went on for years

I don't blame you for your fears

But the hurt and sting still make me think that I could have had much better

yeah, the hurt and sting still makes me think

So, late at night I wonder still

if you were right about my will

to keep my feelings pure

and so I wonder if I ever

will get to be with him forever

and feel a touch and warmth at night

And the hurt and sting still make me think that you could have done much better

yeah the hurt and sting makes me think

the hurt and sting make me think that some pains last forever

yeah the hurt and sting make me think

I don't think I'll be home for awhile

Mama, I'm not coming home

I don't think I'll be home.

Reviews

[dukovan]

Very nicely structured. It sounds like a song. Keep thinking, but also, keep hoping.

[Vedant Goenka]

pheww.. most young adults as well as teens would relaate to this.. i did.... very touching.!

[screamin'ian]

Yes, the hurt and sting make me think, too...

I felt it through this; good job getting the emotion across.

[Coyote Poetry]

A lot of hidden story in this poem. Sometime we must make decisions that are hard and necessary. A lot of emotion and struggle in the poem. I like how you ended the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Seanne Tholltree]

emotions well expressed

[Kenneth The Poet]

Powerful, like you're caught on a record player that keeps skipping.

[Jeremy Baker]

The last stanza is ineffably sad, very child-like in its simplicity and innocence, yet ery knowing in its deolation and pain. Wonderful writing.

[Little Birdie]

Very well written, you can almost feel the hurt and the sting...

[J Todd Underhill]

Well crafted piece, I liked the rhyme scheme in this one!