Home Is A Foreign Country

Shed some tears when you leave.

Not the kind that miss you

the kind that hurt me. 

Smiles fade real quick when you're around.

Even though I miss the view I'll settle for the sound 

of your voice through the phone.

I was fine here on my own

till you came and made me realize I'm still sad,

still can't sleep and still worry, still mad at dad.

And you sat and called me stubborn, I just hate to be alone,

and I refuse to spend the holidays pretending.

I'm not blaming you this time

I'm just saying that my mind

is fucked

and its easier to blame someone

then to blame it all on fate

because someone is just easier to hate

Got that feeling back, the one in my chest.

It never really goes away. I just feel it less.

More piercings and a tattoo:

just doing things cause you wouldn't approve

of them at all, but you don't approve of anything I do. 

even if it's something I did for you.

So what's the difference I gave up

I'm done trying, done showing up 

to make you happy, to give you the time

you don't get a relationship without trying

to understand me and the way I work

It's a little different then most

Springsteen won't help this time, Dad. I just hate to hear the past.

And the winter was never this cold and lonely.

I'm not blaming you this time

I'm just saying that my mind

is fucked

and its easier to blame someone

then to blame it all on fate

because someone is just easier to hate

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Easy to blame others for life. Wisdom come when we learn. We are responsible for the good and bad in a life. Easy to look for someone to blame. Life is a test. In the end. Home is where most of us feel safe and secure. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote

[Kenneth The Poet]

Very cool. I have felt like this sometimes. It is hard to have a relationship with one's parents sometimes.

[Kes]

I love this. Especially the last stanza.
Oh how easy it is to blame others... :/
Great write - thanks for sharing.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

It can be hard to let go of the past sometimes, but you can be assured that who you are and will become, as a person..... depends just as much on the future. Working towards becoming the people we want to be is a great aid to our happiness.

There was such a sad disconnect in this poem. There were not only walls, but walls that protected walls. I feared the loss of a soul forever, that feeling was dampened by an amazing passion. The determination to live gave me a lot of hope for a positive future. Incredibly intense.

[Everson Taveras]

Your words flow like a river poisoned with melancholy. Well done

[Kyra Evalice]

Good write, there are some spots where it did seem a little choppy or incomplete but all in all it really says a lot. Sometimes it's hard to be Daddy's little girl when nothing you do is good enough, the same is true for everyone you meet in some small way.

[gogi7]

nice write....when i was your age i felt the same but as you grow you will realise and see things in a different light....hopefully you realise that home is your home... sorry if ive come off a bit strong...but i have brother ur age n is going through the same emotions of home feeling foreign and its kind of fustrating.....
great write. keep them coming. :)

[Sarah]

its lovely but sad well done...