Save Me

A poem about depression; hiding behind a facade of happiness.

The corners of my mouth

Turn up slightly.

"Does this look believable?"

I ask myself.

It's just a facade.

A mask. 

Who am I anyway?

A quiet, fragile girl,

Hidden behind a tough,

Cold woman.

I don't even know

The real 'me' anymore.

I wonder if my friends notice,

But are too afraid to say anything.

Or perhaps they just don't care,

Too wrapped up in themselves,

Even though I've always been there for them. 

Either way,

I'm tired of the game.

The flashbacks to my youth.

The lights flashing red and blue.

Red for the blood 

Dripping down my face.

And blue for the bruises

That never go away.

The drunken cries,

A hand to my face,

A fistful of hair.

Every social worker's

Dream case.

Mom's drunk,

Dad's high.

I can only hide so long,

Before they find me.

Watching over my little sister,

As she sleeps peacefully,

Unaware.

I couldn't take the screaming anymore.

At me. 

At each other. 

Every word,

Every slap,

Chipping away at my heart. 

But it's fading now. 

Those memories 

Those excuses

That make up everything I am.

But I don't mind.

Take them.

Please God,

Make them disappear. 

Leave behind the hollow shell, 

The ache at the core of my soul. 

Abandon me,

As you always have,

Every tear-stricken night.

With a knife to my wrist,

A belt around my neck,

Those pills at my lips. 

I just want to end it all.

But I can't,

The ever-fading hope is always

Tugging at my conscious,

Bringing me to my knees.

And even though I don't deserve to,

Every night, I pray.

Please, someone,

Take me in your arms.

Save me.

Save me.

Save me.

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think, it was a very emotional piece for me.

Reviews

[JenniferMarie]

I think this could help others. Please believe that no matter what you go through you are worthy of a life full of possibilities. You are worthy of a life full of all of your dreams coming true. Practice watching your thoughts (I recently learned this). Try to say, I've had a heaven of a day. I love my life. I have difficulties, but they are teaching me so much (they are). Focus on your goals. Focus on the positive. It's hard sometimes I know, but what do you love? what brings you joy? take steps toward them. If it's writing. Keep writing. Everyday you get better and talk to God. Sorry if you're not religious, but God is powerful and prayer is powerful, just ask.

If you write what you've been through you can help others. They will have someone to relate to and won't feel alone. We are all in this together. We all have these moments of depression, anxiety, aloneness that means we feel, we are human. We can overcome it though.

Anyhow, what a great poem. It certainly got me thinking about life!

hugs, BIG HUGS to you!!! You will be perfectly fine and you will be a great success!

Jen

[clns123]

Thank you so, so much, this comment really made my day :) I wrote this at a much darker point in my life, which I'm glad to say I've made it through!!

[JenniferMarie]

Wonderful to hear :) yup, writing is reflecting on things past and present. That's what's so cool. Great poem.

Happy writing,
Jennifer