17. uttered dependence

scattered in tatters among dirt and dust

wild winds let you down somewhere random

exposing vulnerability, it's not what a man does

bare feelings despicably unbecoming handsome

buried to wait for someone you can trust

lacking incentive to disclose the ransom

 

you dragged me from indifference

now i can't reenter it

you replaced my indifference

now i can't remember it

 

this drowning rebounding to a paradox float

swallow like shallow, don't let the deep show

pride slaps away helpful hands from boats

screaming in a stare as i watched them go

recycled revisions of reminiscence i wrote

entries that sent me to past places i know

 

she's my net

who won't let

me swim the currents

i'm kidnapped

i've been back

to what i swore against

 

she anchors

my rancor

to the briny floor

i'm helpless

i've felt this

time and time before

 

wake me from my apathy

and i'll shake you with the wrath of me

 

you woke me from my apathy

now i can't get back to sleep