Afraid of Heights

A confession

I thought about pushing you off the cliff

I couldn’t help it that’s why I flipped

Flipped on you about being to close

To close to the edge

 I said you might fall

 Yet all I could think of is if I would get caught

 If I pushed you hard and you fell to your death below.

 

I’m afraid of heights ‘

Not like the average person

Nope not at all

I’m afraid of heights because

Because of what goes through my head

The thoughts of suicide

 

If I just jumped now

There would be no turning back

There would be no restart

I would feel the first smack

And then maybe pass out and then die

I wonder if that would finally make me happy

 

On the roof of a fifteen story building

Looking down just once

That is when the fear comes

When fifty percent says get back

And the other says run and leap

Its easy

So easy for the last flying hurdle

To have the knowledge of what its like to be a bird

Yet you become the diver of to the cement pool

 

So yes I confess

I did think of pushing you off the cliff

And watching you fall

Watch you plummet to your death

But what you don’t know

Is if I did push you

I would be right behind you

Waiting for my last blow

 

I’m sorry.