The Unwanted

The church choir bursts into song. The piano plays out the wedding march. Flower petals are scattered everywhere and everybody looks at the back to stare at the woman walking down the aisle. Everyone but me. The room is filled with soft sighs and smiles. All I do is stare ahead of me. The groom stands idly by the altar. Of course, he stares at his beautiful wife-to-be down the aisle. Finally I see her at the corner of my eye, a mirage of white and petals. Slowly, she walks into my view; past the people, past me. I am just another face in the crowd.

She is so beautiful.

With one hand, she holds the arm of her father, who stares tearfully at his little girl with pride. And with the other, she holds the bouquet of white and yellow lilies. Her pressed curls are carefully arranged, her grey eyes watering behind her veil. Her dress is draped in silk and lace. Nevertheless, all I have to say to describe her is: angel.

She finally reaches the altar and her father lifts her veil. Breathtaking… she gives him a kiss and turns to join hands with her soon-to-be man of her life. The music stops, and everyone takes a seat as the ceremony finally begins. The events are a blur; all I do is look at her. She stares at her groom with such love in her eyes, all her tender smiles directed at him. That should have been me.

“If anybody has a reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

The room is silent. Nothing holds me back. That is because I have nothing to say.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” That could have been me.

She kisses him; they are now as one. That would have been me.

I shake my head. No. I gave up on her. I made her feel unwanted. I had hurt her too much, so I gave up… Now it was my turn to feel unwanted. I stare at the woman who is seated beside me, and I take her hand. My wife looks up at me and smiles.

The newlyweds part from their kiss, and everyone stands in applause as they walk back down the aisle. The bride’s eyes meet mine. She smiles at me, out of courtesy. Her eyes turn sad. My heart hurts.

She won this round. But we both lost the game.

Goodbye…

Reviews

[Ian Faraway]

This story must happen so often around the world. There's never a happy ending for someone whose in love with another. This was short but very powerful. You could even make it into a long short story but, personally, their unknown story kind of adds to the strength of the story. J'adore.

[Jeb]

great piece. I love the last two lines "She won this round. but we both lost the game. Goodbye..." It hits home in many different ways. I know that feeling when you look at someone that hurt you after you hurt her only to soon realize that both of you understand that no one really won. The fighting, even passive fighting, often just ends up in exhaustion.

I have to say I was really debating if this piece was going to be good or not. It is a very cliche topic where you are sitting next to someone you married, while you see the love of your life getting married. But you wrote it beautifully.

The only thing I would add is a physical reaction that the narrator experiences when his eye meets the newlywed bride. I know you state "my heart hurts." But I think adding some part of his physical reaction would be impactful. And also, maybe the mutual realization that they've lost each other.

[jlkennan]

Lovely piece. The emotions are raw and so real.

[Clay Feet]

Nicely written piece with sadness and loss permeating the joy of the ceremony.

Excellent imagery.

[Jim]

I like the repeated sentences in italics. Quite effective. An intriguing ending. You might consider adding more of the backstory in another installment.

[Omegax45]

You snooze, you lose. That's all I have to say to the narrator. Good story. I se eno need for changes. It states the point quite plainly.

[Ria Benthil]

Despite its shortened length, it gives just enough details to exemplify the message. The short story reminds me of a realistic version of a romantic film. In contrast, the production of a movie concludes the movie with a "happy ending," and the narrator would end up with the bride instead of the groom. However, I like how the speaker allows his emotions to subside, and fade as her marriage beings. Although the narrator appears as jealous, he may only be having these passing thoughts because he remembers his previous love affair, and he also reflects on the mistakes that lead him to loose her. Perhaps he only felt this way because we all want what we cannot have.

[Elijah Gleaves]

Reminds me of song by Ne-yo called Fade Into The Background. Listen to it if you get a chance. The story was well put together. I feel for the speaker of the story I find myself in similar situations ( never during a wedding lol)

[Max]

A very touching story. I like the twist in the end.
We all know that feeling of jealousy.

Great job!

[Dragon]

I like how you give a good desciption on the background. You give good details on the people and characters on how they feel and act to the situation. Great work...oh, and nice photo. :)