The Neighbors Might Hear

Be quiet, love, or the neighbors might hear

You sobbing into rumpled sheets.

Those tear stained fabrics and ragged clothes

Have folded in your sanity.

 

Be silent, hon, or the neighbors might hear

You crying out when you’re asleep.

Those disturbed pillows and unkempt hair

Have cushioned you from blank defeat.

 

Pipe down, my dear, or the neighbors might hear

The moans that come from troubled minds.

You toss and turn on beds that creak

And lie around the questioning eyes.

 

Hush hush, baby, or the neighbors might hear

The groans that echo empty sighs.

You resonate those haunting calls

And heavily whisper your goodbyes.

Reviews

[Dearantlers]

Wow, that's good. And sad too. You are an extremely good poetry writer!! Congrats on winning the sad poetry contest with this!!!!

[Max]

I love how vague and open to interpretation this is. There's something very malicious about the speaker here, which makes it seem like it's about sexual abuse of some sort (to which interpretation the title also lends itself), yet it could also be about someone mourning the dead. I can't decide :P

Good job though! I also think the structure is interesting. It's metered, and I almost expect it to rhyme, and the reader is thrown off a bit when he realizes that it doesn't :P

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

I love how the tone is cold and feels deceptively sweet, like the words are coming from a sinister voice. This was an emotionally tugging piece with great flow.

[Babieegirl]

very beautiful. had a weird feeling to it that i liked, it gave me a creepy yet comforting feeling. Very nice.

[lisameryl]

Hauntingly beautiful and powerful...dark and intense...cold and disturbing...yet I love it so much...amazing style!

[Poe Redd]

Gorgeous, with a cold air about it. A great read. I really enjoyed it.

[Larry Dyson]

stoicly cold and removed.. from the happenings...but so full emotionally..hiding the real feelings..excellent write..

[Clopo]

Intense but amazing.

[light and ashes]

This is excellent.

[Jim]

I love the ambiguity. Sinister and disturbing and foreboding. Great work.