Hot Water

What would it feel like if hot rain fell from the sky?

Burning and scorching all the passersby

We’ll wonder if God’s angry and had to cry

Those bittersweet tears that were wholly divine

 

What are those bright stars that fall from your eyes?

They land on my shoulder and stain your goodbyes

Save and collect them until the right time

Return them to the heart that used to be mine

Reviews

[~Shadow Kissed~]

wow very good piece. Wonderful flow, and great imagary.

[nothingnothingforgetfor..]

touching, very very touching, great work.

[lisameryl]

Heartfelt message within your verse and imagery. Well written and expressed.

[Clay Feet]

I like the second stanza more than the first. The staining stars of goodbye is a beautiful visual. Nicely written.

[Enjoy]

Not a bad concept. Well done, good word choice and imagery. I liked it. :D Keep it up.

[LetMeLaughLetMeSing]

Beautiful...

[Short.Nerd]

Nice!

[Babieegirl]

yes, i agree with the one down below quite a bit (Points down ) V. but i liked it still. it was great and i liked how you put God in there wondering what's wrong with him up there and why he's doing this. (=

[Elijah Gleaves]

"what would it feel like if hot rain fell from the sky?" A shower? lol that was the first thought that came to my mind. You used God in the possessive also you can't make it a contraction you have to actually spell out "God is angry. You may wanna make the first stanza stronger I feel like the poem doesn't really begin until the second stanza. Thanks for sharing :)

[Dahlia Phoenix]

This is just beautiful in every way.