What They Lost

hold on to what you have and appreciate it, for their is always someone that has it worse than you.

The people who are weak

They are the ones that reek

From the stains of their tears.

 

And the scars, increasing from years

Of denying the pain, and the hurt.

They are tossed in the dirt

To be shut up and hidden 

And anything good is forbidden.

That is how they live everyday 

For there is no other way;

The happiness is blocked out

And they scream and they shout.

But no one comes to their aid,

Slowly they begin to fade.

And now they have left 

For there is no bigger theft

Than what they have  lost.

Author's Note

Review, tell me what you think.

Reviews

[nevershoutnever.]

Wow. That's really deep. I'm having trouble processing who it is about; I hope it isn't about you, otherwise...YOU NEED A HUG! Aahaha :] But i love it: it's deep, emotional, and shows how the people who push you away, need to have someone who won't give in.

[Violeta]

Maybe the people that push us away need to be slapped. >.<

I really liked this, it was deep and very in your face. We scream and shout but nobody wants to hear...

[freelancejouster]

firstly, the font and format detract from it, making it hard to read, plus the hard, harsh edges of the font don't fit the poem. speak simply, let the words promote themselves. the rhymes are good, but sometimes they don't flow as well as they could, like you were scrambling for a rhyme. i do really like the thoughts behind this poem, however, you've something great in the making?

[J.Truth]

This was good. Really good!

[ClaireBear]

No it's not about me. i just kinda...wrote it

[SpeakxNow]

Rly good!

[NightShade]

The words come in torrents like shots fired! It makes me wanna scream "Man Down!" for every person that folds under life's losses. I can't help but think of the Homeless, as I look over this again. I've known many and when I was a kid, I was on the street; seeing the world through different lenses. Most just walk by, looking through rose tinted glasses (Carnage visors, yo!) but a clear focus on what we have leads to better priorities.

This is a grand bit of insight and wonderfully done!

[Gleek4ever21]

Wow! This is amazing! There are no words to describe how moved I am by this poem. Keep up the fantastic work!!!:)

[Ripple of Aqua]

I really like this. Not only is it just so effortlessly written, but also the image and message it brings.

[madmocha]

Nice poem Claire, good flow and rhyme; sad truth that is clearly, yet achingly told.
"For their is no other way..." and
"For their is no bigger theft." In both of these lines 'their' should be 'there'.
Both small issues in a very nice poem.