Horror's Not That Bad

Had to use the ten underlined words. An experiment with a couple things I like from another poet.

Inside the panic room you huddle next to me

First time we’ve touched since I tried to hold your hand

I almost want to thank him

You a*****e that’s a horrible thing to think

 

I remember the shame when you told me about your uncle

That he was f*****g crazy and had a gun

You didn’t let me look at your eyes

Maybe she’ll let me kiss her

 

I can’t even see the doorknob really

But I know what’s on the other side

The way we came running when we heard the door slam

He’ll probably find us in here

 

A disheveled sound just clanged downstairs

Sounds like he’s in the kitchen

It scares you so you scramble farther back

Fine curl away

 

He’s crashing up the stairs now

You come back and give me a revolting squeeze

There’s dread in it

God this is goodbye

Author's Note

Wasn't sure I liked the last line.

Reviews

[Truman S. Booth]

I love it. The seamless blend of what's going on with the narrators thoughts is both humorous and unsettling, due to the nature of the plot. The title is clever, too, as it draws the reader's attention to why this experience isn't "that bad," that he gets to be with a girl that rejected him earlier.

A wonderful bitter-sweet horror poem. Original, too... don't think I've ever read something like this. Well done!

(And just because I'm Truman S. Booth, I have to address the F-bomb. I'm not a fan of profanity... although I can't think of anything that packs as much punch. It fits well... I'm just complaining out of habit.)

[Tovli]

not exactly a prose poem; the last line was not as powerful as the rest of the stanzas, almost cliche. still, an interesting glimpse into a closed box. the metaphor was great. tovli (sorry to be so long in stopping by with a comment).

[C.]

Yeeeah... the words had to be underlined because it was for a contest. Not my choice.

[.]

I like the overall story behind this..although I was confused by the speech, should that be defined so the reader understands the concept..also I think the underlined words unless have a hidden meaning..just distract from the poem itself..

[Champagne]

Liked it very much. It seems like a moving canvas, with things being painted on.

[Helen Crutchett]

Wow, this was chilling. It shocked me, but was compelling at the same time. Unique and creative, well done! Thank you for submitting this to Tovli's Ten!

[.]

. fascinating use of the ten words ... but too scary for me ...