The nightmare

Just something written a while ago...it's profound to me now considering what I experienced recently in my life. I now understand the hidden meaning in the nightmare. I want to expand this into a story, I am taking suggestions.

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She awoke from her nightmare, sweaty, shaking, and scared. Drowning, always drowning, always the same dream, always the same way.

Something or someone pushes her under the water and holds her there. Air she can’t get any air; she can’t breathe. Water rushes into her mouth, up her nose, into her lungs…filling her lungs with water instead of air. Water rushes into her eyes blinding her.

Darkness, it surrounds her. Pain engulfs her. Air, her body wants it…her body needs it. Her body is dying.

He thinks she’d dead. She stopped her struggling. He holds her under a few extra seconds to be safe, better to be safe than sorry.

Pain. She feels pain exploding in her lungs. She feels pain explode behind her eyes. Numb. Nothing, nothing anymore, nothing ever again.

 

Awake. She fears the water. Awake she fears sleep but like the air that she needs to survive, sleep she needs for her sanity.

 

Awake she looks at the man sleeping next to her, the source of all her fears.

 

 

Author's Note

Suggestions? Anyone?

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

If you are still with this man, run like hell !

There are an unimaginable number of explanations for this
sort of dream. When someone had a similar dream a doctor
suggested an immediate physical examination, because sometimes
a person is victim of a sudden attack, and remain sound asleep, only
to have their mind invent the explanation on waking.

Often the subconscious is more sensitive to the motives of
aquaintances than we are consciously aware.

Sometimes a slight when you are awake will be amplified and distorted
by the sleeping mind. A husband might suggest that you drink more water
and the word water triggers hidden fears.

It is fairly obvious that your problem has impressed this reviewer, but a
lot of questions would have to be asked in order to oncover any part of
this problem.

The story is written with the usual good form and sensitivity of this writer.
It shows a talented and brilliant writer with a wonderful imagination.

----- Eagle Cruagh

[Chaos]

Very powerful Chris! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to read this piece. I'm sure there are many women out there that fear the man they love. This may have been a story, but the poetic melody and rhythm was apparent and strong. You have a natural ability for the written word. I loved it. I don't think it's as much as a twist as people think. Love, fear, and hate are often intertwined and become something that is unrecognizable.

[Lee E. Powell]

Ok, I have read lots of poetry on this sight and, not that I would do any better, but a lot has been predictible and clithe. Yours on the other hand I have enjoyed very much.

You are truely a poet.

I loved the vivid imagery and the twist at the end, very readable. This was simply awesome.

I understand that this was a short story, but, well, I may be off base here, but it kind of read like a poem, which i very much enjoyed.

Ok, now the picky side of me...
"Awake she looks at the man sleeping next to her the source of all her fears"
Should there be a comma after "her"?

[soulsearching]

I think we all feel this way sometime, it only take one word to send us from loving a person to wanting more out of life. love all your stuff.. tls