The Perfect Family

You hold a list
of all of my blunder,
you said it was hard
to forgive me.

Over 20 years,
I ran away,
from a place
I felt violated.

You said you wept
tears for me,
You suppressed yourself
into my room.

Yet you failed to realize,
it was you
I had to seperate myself from.
All the violence
that occurred
from a picture perfect family.

You never once,
took a look in the mirror
to even fathom
how I must've felt on the other side?

Printed photos of a family portrait,
yet I am never there.
Holidays are filled with laughter,
is it because my existence
is absent?

Do you despise me so much,
you slander me with violence?
Why couldn't you abort
my soul,
instead of allowing me to feel this pain?

Why do I submit to your control
and hope that you would change?

I'm pleading with sobbing tears,
of answers you regret to speak.
Help me understand
how a bond like this
could be so weak?

Do I mimick the hero
you failed to attempt?
Do you dare to
douse my inner flame?

If you were anything,
but my blood
I could stand tall
and speak out of your unruliness,

Instead I fall to your feet
as you swing them to
my direction
You stand there
looking down at me
without remorse.

Why do I care so much?
When you care so little?
Why do I still hope,
when there is none left?

Every time you walk in my life,
I turn up my smile.
Pretend that I'm okay.
To prove I'm fine with you around.
Bending over backwards,
just to fullfill your needs.

But in reality
I'm slowly dying inside,
wanting to lash out
and asking you,
How dare you do me this way?

Would I still be the survivor,
if you cut me out of your life?
Or would I be the villian,
because I cut you out of mine?

Just tell me how can we be a family,
when I am never there?

January 20, 2009

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem ask many good questions. I learn to appreciate my family. I do not speak negative and try to be kind and helpful. Life will give us many battles. We can't allow the people who want us to fall or beg win. Better to hold silence and walk away from fool's speaking words of hate. Need to hold on to love. Allow the person to wonder what is on your mind and be strong for the people who need you. A powerful poem. Thank you for sharing.
Coyote