Scream

 

Scream

 

Voices echo from afar,

A recanting of words from my mother’s lips;

Repetitive rhymes of hate and disgust

An infant crying in my arms,

Torn away from my shattered soul.

 

A constant reminder of life’s pain;

God, I only long to scream

Tears refuse to fall from my eyes,

Like the desert they’re arid and dry:

The perpetual agony I feel within.

 

Reminiscing the past ten years,

Reflecting the abuse from those I loved,

The loss of people so close to me;

I feel so empty, so hurt inside...

 

Palpitations from the constant fear,

The darkness permeates my lifeless room:

The shadow of the moon recounts such painful memories

 

It burns my eyes the color red;

Blood had soaked a shirt I once wore:

Holding a lifeless child in my arms

 

No one was there to witness these truths

Kept in silence all these years:

I speak out while the room commands silence.

 

Someone in the crowd hails me hero

Which leaves my heart with one real thought:

If only they knew

 

I wish I could scream from the top of my lungs,

And pour out libations from the depths of my soul

 

Though I could cry such unceasing tears:

My heart is so burdened for the nameless children

whose bodies, without remorse are cast to the wind

  

 

 

 

 

 

What about the people I lost?

Hindered in fighting for their silent cries. .

I stand here, asking myself,

Which side am I on?

In what manner am I a hero
Can I win justice for a deafened voice

 

How can I fight for the children?

The names I never knew?

A child, conceived, then birthed from me,

A gift of identity at seven in the morning;

How can I call him my own?

 

Where are the friends who scattered through fear?

From the captors who perceived me as their only threat?

 

Concealed from their existence for more than 5 years;

My face has resurfaced through media and press.

 

Cowardice or courage?

Both volley in my conscious mind.

When the final decision comes to surface,

Such anxiety resounds:

I fear that I will never say goodbye to my only son.

 

So, am I a hero or just along for the ride?

Taking the easy way out of my past?

I cannot escape so will I expose the truth in exchange for my life?

 

I ask God for his strength to scream,

Permitting my tears to fall as they may:

A perpetual battle which exhausts my mind

 

I ask you, Lord, please make it stop!

Who are the selected which hunt me down?

They show no remorse for those left behind

 

If silence is all you can muster to me,

My response, then, is just to scream . . .

 

By:  Chong N. Kim

4-18-06