I Can't

 

I Can’t

 

I can’t be the girl in your dreams

when I don’t know where my dreams lie.

 

I can’t be the girl you’ve been hoping for,

when I have no hope left in mine.

 

I can’t be the one you want to fall for,

because all you’ll be doing is going in circles.

 

I can’t let you be close to me,

because the truth will intimidate you.

 

I can’t let you see me be vulnerable,

Insecurity will reflect back at you.

 

I can’t allow you to touch me the way you want to,

otherwise I’ll think it’s just a game.

 

I can’t let you have my heart,

because you’ll be holding shattered pieces in your hands.

 

My life may appear to be courageous, but the truth I can’t let you be near.

On the surface I maybe strong, but inside I’m slowly dying . . .

 

You may not be the man that broke my heart,

But the pain is still as fresh as an open wound.

 

You look for a woman with strength,

But oppression is deep within.

 

You look for a woman with integrity,

My soul covets dishonesty.

 

You look for a woman with compassion,

I only have enough for my children

 

You look for a woman with romance,

But mine has diminished long before you came.

 

It’s not that I am incapable of love

I’m preventing emotional pain to resurface.

 

 

 

 

It’s not that I lack low self-esteem,

I refuse to be co-dependent.

 

We can’t be lovers,

If we’re lacking respect.

 

So if you care for me the way, you say you do?

Then allow me to go, so that I maybe able to find myself.

But if I don’t return, please remember that you’ve left a reflection in my heart,

Because the good guys like you don’t deserve a woman like me.

 

By: Chong N. Kim

8-28-06