This Perfection

No time like the present...

These candid snapshots sparkle
in freeze framed isolation
capturing a faint flame flicker
still life force, or essence,
aching to return, to join
its mirrored, other half.

This perfection, this ideal,
in languid circles running
through murky thought - so cavern damp,
its condensation nuclei,
radically free, it rains upon me,
to hasten liberation.

Reviews

[Nicole S]

I've read through a great deal of poems on this site and I have to say that I think yours are the best I've read so far. The words have a liquid sort of flow to them and have a sense of coldness, a sadness, like Drifting Blue mentioned. I like it alot.

[Drifting Blue]

Lyrical with sadness, paradise lost more than gained. You show that perfection may be inertia. Good writing.

[RHEA CROSLEY]

"Join the other half" became my center of attraction fro all the other thoughts. I do not know if you meant it that way. Appreciate your flow and intelligence. Thanks.

[Baby Boy]

Wow! The ending was just perfect and this is a very deep peice you have here! The title is also perfect and it defeinately catches the reader's ear! Great job sweetie! One luv Miss Bloom! :)



-JC-

[Kara Emily Krantz]

"it rains upon me" was my favorite part. :)

the only thing that tripped me up a little was (maybe?) the use of commas... perhaps there were too many, they made me trip over them. does that make sense? but that could just be me.

I really like the rhythm you created here, and the entirety of the poem was great. I also liked it's brevity. That worked very well for this.

Hugs