13 (The Intro)

Analia arrives at a police station carrying a trunk that contains 2 year's worth of violence, blood and sin. As she helps to solve a cold case, her past begins to unravel as well.

The rain didn’t make carrying the trunk any easier. Analia cursed herself under her breath for choosing such a s****y day to turn herself in. Why couldn’t she have come in last Tuesday when the weather was sunny, warm and she could enjoy her last moments of freedom basking in nature’s light? Instead she was spending her remaining time bent over dragging a trunk to the Amethyst Police Station through mud and water, her shoes soaked all the way through. She looked up, wiping a strand of hair from her eyes and saw the lights indicating her destination. Time was running short.

Analia let the trunk fall back onto the sidewalk, splashing her from top to bottom with grimy water. She sank down on top of the trunk with a sigh and reached deep into her inner pocket, hoping that somehow her cigarettes weren’t ruined.

“Must be my lucky day,” she laughed to herself as she pulled one out of the mostly dry pack and placed it between her lips. With a hand that was surprisingly steady, she reached back into her pocket and produced her lighter, which seemed equally dry and lit up her smoke. Inhaling deeply, she withdrew the cigarette, leaning her face up towards the sky and letting the rain wash over her narrow features. Exhaling, she returned back to the scene in front of her, the impending station looming tall overhead.

She laughed again to herself at the thought of how ridiculous she probably looked, sitting in a downpour just outside the view of the beat-up police station, smoking a cigarette on a big old-timey trunk. To the passerby it probably seemed as if she was some lunatic, cackling on a container that probably held her few possessions. Little did they know, this scene was the end result of two year’s toil, gathered through violence, blood, and sin.

That solemn reminder was enough to turn her attention back to the task at hand, the smile falling from her lips.

Back to work.

Analia threw her cigarette down into the gutter beneath her feet and stood up slowly, stretching her back before reaching back down and grabbing the corner of the trunk again. She began towards the station at an even pace, never looking back.

Officer Lorenzo Johnston sat hunched over his desk, eyes down at his phone, ignoring the main entrance when Analia entered. It wasn’t until the door swung shut behind her with a bang that he looked up, seemed to remember where he was, and dropped his phone.

“Can I help you?” he asked, his response drawn out as he expected no visitor at this hour could be a good one. Analia knew he was staring at the trunk and was more than likely wary of its contents, so she left it at the door as she walked over to the front desk, her footsteps leaving watery patterns across the recently cleaned floor.

“I sure hope you can,” she replied. “I need to speak to Detective Adler, Officer...” she left off as she glanced down to his badge and added “Johnston. I have information for him regarding a missing child’s case from a few years back.”

“He doesn’t come in for work until later on this morning at 8 AM, which isn’t for another,” he leaned back and glanced at a dusty clock behind him, “six and a half hours. And I’m not sure if you’re familiar with Detective Adler, but he’s not much of a morning person. Perhaps our on-duty commander could assist you with something in the interim?” Analia sighed to herself, and began to head back over towards the trunk. Upon reaching it, she sat back down on top of it and stared back at him lightly. She had planned for this precise interaction, protocol is protocol, but that didn’t make it any less tedious.

“I think this is something best suited for Detective Adler, Officer Johnston. I know he’s very close to the case itself, and I really think he’s going to want to be the person I talk to,” she said softly, her eyes trailing towards the phone. “Would you mind calling him?” Officer Johnston didn’t much care for the idea of calling Detective Adler at this hour, especially since it usually resulted in a lecture on the common decency to call a man at normal working hours, but a small part of him took delight at the idea of it. He picked up the phone and began punching in numbers before he hung up and looked back at her.

“Hey, what’s in the trunk?” Analia had prepared for this as well, but the outcome wasn’t quite as predictable. She grounded herself and tried to sound like a woman of great importance.

“Something of great importance to the case and Detective Adler, which is why I would really appreciate it if you would phone him and ask him to come down.” Analia hesitated after her answer, waiting for the response. Was he going to let it go? Was he going to demand to search it? She felt a thin line of sweat forming at her brow as she sat in anticipation.

“Okay, valid enough,” Officer Johnston picked up the receiver and began dialing again.

*RING RING RING*

Ripped from the grasps of a pleasant dream involving many multi-breasted women and a plethora of booze, Jack found himself awake to the ungodly din of his cellphone. Where the hell had he left it?

Follow the noise, genius. At least his snarky inner commentary was still functioning, apparently it missed the hangover memo. What a bummer.

*RING RING RING*

“F**k, I’m coming, I’m coming,” he growled as he began ripping his sheets apart, attempting to follow the sound, just anything to make it stop. Empty bottles fell from the blankets to the floor with a brain-shattering clatter that instantly ignited a headache behind his right eye, the tell-tale sign that he had drank too much the night previous.

*RING RING RING*

His hands flying underneath the blankets, Jack raced to stop the sound, afraid that if he didn’t soon, he would snap. “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHERE IS MY F*****G PH--” and he found it. Flipping it open as quickly as possible, he didn’t even read the name of the caller before it was at his ear.

“WHAT COULD YOU WANT AT THIS HOUR,” he nearly yelled into the phone, as he lay back down and covered his eyes with an arm.

“Detective Adler? I’m sorry to bother you, I know it’s late, but there’s this woman here at the station who says she needs to talk to you about a cold case from a while ago.” Everything seemed to stop for a moment as it registered that work was calling him at this hour, which never happens. Not since he went off the self-proclaimed ‘deep end’ had he ever been bothered outside of working hours. Maybe it was something important.

“Who is she? What does she want?” he asked. There was a brief silence as if the attendant was debating whether to answer or not before replying simply:

“I really don’t know, but she seems legitimate.”

“You didn’t ask her what she needed? Or why she needed to speak to me?”

“Well, she didn’t exactly divulge that information Detective, and I’m not one to pry into matters I have no business in.” Attempting to keep his anger to a minimum as it became increasingly possible this was just a wild goose chase, Jack tried to keep the increasing irritation from his voice.

“Then why couldn’t this wait until I come in? Christ, it’s only what, three in the morning? Can’t she come back later? Or talk to whoever else is on staff?”

“I tried that, but she won’t talk to anyone but you I guess. And she has this large trunk here, and I guess I just wasn’t sure what to do. She’s very convincing.” Jack sighed to himself.

“Listen here, Rookie,” Jack called everyone Rookie because he hadn’t bothered to learn the names of his coworkers since 2009. “You tell this woman that it’s too damn early in the morning, and I will be there at 8 AM, as pre-dictated by my schedule.”

“Hang on,” the attendant’s voice became somewhat muffled as he leaned away from the receiver to pass along his message. There was a brief discussion back and forth between the two, but Jack couldn’t discern a word of it. His headache was increasing as the call progressed, the dull aching growing into a stronger throb. All he wanted to do was hang up the phone and go back to sleep, to rejoin the busty ladies and liquor that he was so rudely pried away from.

“Uh, Detective?” the attendant’s voice came back onto the line.

“Make it quick Rookie, I’m hanging up this damn phone,” he grumbled.

“She did give me her name, says it’s Emily Rothum? Does that mean anything to you?” Jack almost dropped the phone as his eyes shot open, sitting up abruptly in his bed did nothing to help his headache, but it was instinctive.

“Say that again?”

“Emily Rothum? Does that name mean anything to you?” the attendant’s voice was growing in curiosity but Jack dismissed any further questions with a quick: “I’ll be right there” and hung up the phone.

“Well, he’s coming in, Emily,” Officer Johnston said, replacing the receiver on the main base. “He doesn’t sound too happy about it, but he’s never really been much of a morning person.” Analia smiled, thankful that the attendant hadn’t asked for her identification before calling Adler, because god knows he wouldn’t have liked being lied to, but she didn’t know what else to say to get his attention, and it was now or never. .

“Well thank you Officer Johnston. Did Detective Adler state how long he would be?” Officer Johnston looked back at the clock on the wall, then down at his watch, the back up to the clock before responding.

“I would say anywhere from 15-45 minutes. He can be really quick unless he woke up on the wrong side of the bed, if you know what I mean,” he replied, casually miming having a drink. Analia laughed again, and stood up from the trunk.

“Since I have a few moments, do you mind if I step out front and have a cigarette? I was expecting him to be here already for some crazy reason, so I figured I might as well capitalize on the opportunity.”

“Sure,” Officer Johnston replied and Analia turned towards the front entrance and pushed on the heavy doors, escaping back into the rain.

Head still pounding, Jack opened the door to his beat-up SUV, brushing last night’s garbage off of the driver and passenger seats before climbing behind the wheel. He was able to get out of bed and throw himself together within a few minutes of the phone call. Although he was dressed, his head was still spinning.

Putting the car into reverse, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed up the station again, wanting to be sure that he had heard the name correctly. If so, Emily Rothum had quite some explaining to do.

“Amethyst Police Station, this is Officer Johnston spe-”

“Rookie, what was that name again?” Jack cut him off, as he began to ease down his driveway.

“Rothum,Emily Rothum.” Jack’s heart began to race again, and it seemed to match in time with his pounding head, making him feel ill. Caffeine would be much needed today, it was going to be a long one.

“Can you put on a fresh pot of coffee for when I get there?”

“I guess so,” came the reply, although it sounded as if the attendant was slightly put off by the request.

“I’ll be there in ten. Where’s Emily now?”

“She’s outside, smoking a cigarette, states she is waiting for you,” came the casual reply.

“Rookie, don’t let her out of your sight, okay? If she’s who she says she is, it’s imperative that I talk to her as soon as I get to the station.”

“I got it, don’t worry Detective. Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

“You’re probably going to do it anyway, so go ahead.”

“What is the deal with Emily Rothum? You’ve never come into the office on such short notice this early in the morning before. Should I be worried about something?” Jack took some time to think of his reply before he answered.

“Rookie, if that woman is who she says she is, she was assumed dead after going missing almost a decade ago.” With that, he hung up.

Author's Note

Let me know what you think!
I've been reading so many authors' works on here, I figured it was time to post something I've done myself!

Reviews

[emipoemi]

.......Whoah! Apart from a few grammatical/punctuation errors, imagery issues, and transitional faux-pas, this is brilliant! Jack Adler is an amazing character - I absolutely love him! He's a strong and funny character, and his antics are hilarious. If you're going to name GIRL later on as Emily Rothum, call her Emily from the beginning. I would assume this Emily is to end up becoming a pseudonym, but if it IS, all the more reason to call her Emily from the start. Save the great reveal for the end. That cliffhanger at the end gives even further reason. Don't give any hints to the readers by calling the protagonist GIRL. Her name is Emily until - if it is going in that direction - the time she should reveal herself to be otherwise. This is a really intriguing story, and I'm very excited to find out what happens next. Well freaking done!

(Lorenzo Johnston? There better be some joke about his name and heritage, for that's a weird combination of names. Lorenzo is Latino/Italian, and Johnston is more or less American. It's a good name, keep it, but there should be some hilarity revolving it because that's not a common pair of names).

[Annabella]

Wow - thank you so much!!! This means so much to me, I haven't posted something I've written online ever - so this definitely helps me to keep going! :)

So GIRL doesn't have a name yet, because I can't decide what I like/don't like. GIRL is just a place holder - because it's not Emily either - but when I get to the next part, that will be explained better.

Lorenzo Johnston - yeah - that was a name my boyfriend came up with and he's not good on the fly - but I'm thinking as I write more about him, I want him to be more involved in the story, so I'll have to add more.

I was hoping to throw out a line and see what people think - thank you SO much for taking the time to write something back to me. I will only get better with some direction, and you've helped so much with that!

I hope you stick around for the next part - it'll be a doozy, for sure! :)

[emipoemi]

I'm sure it will be. I still think Emily's real identity should be the juicy reveal at the end. I don't know where you're going with this, and I'm sure I'll have a more solid opinion on it by the next part, but that cliffhanger is too good a cliffhanger to be solved too soon. Something else better be worth it in the end, if you're solving that cliffhanger that soon.

But don't forget to polish up those issues involving grammar, imagery, and transitions. There are a number, and I don't quite want to have to pinpoint all of them.

You're very welcome, though! I'm pleased to be of service. You're a very great writer overall - you just need to be careful how you flow your story :)

[Annabella]

This was the first draft I wrote of it, so I haven't gone back to edit anything yet - after I had posted it I saw some of the grammatical errors and was bummed. I'm usually a stickler for that stuff, but was too excited to get this story out!

There will definitely be more than enough twists and turns to keep the story interesting, even if Emily's identity is revealed a little bit later on in the story. :)

I hope you keep reading it so you can keep giving me pointers - I was so worried no one would say anything!

Thank you so much!

[emipoemi]

People aren't necessarily drawn to stories/novels due to length (just so you know). I'm one of the few with time on their hands to sit down with a good piece of literature. So that's my story. Glad you could share with the community. And so long as you're aware that these errors are present, and will get to them in time, that's music to my ears. Good luck, and can't wait for the next chapter.
(while you're at it, feel free to peruse my work too. There should be some piece or other that should attract your attention).