Food

a poem about love and trying to search for it

Food:

 

Old widow Susan craved love

asked the baker but he had none

 

went to the vineyard to have a taste

learned that effort was just a waste

 

beat the merchant over the price

saw what he had wasn't right

 

told the waitress to bring her some

left with a plate of not even one

 

ordered the butcher to cut some up

but yet again she was out of luck

 

she left them all in a fit of fury

wanting more than rice and curry

 

she didn't want sweets and bread

nor animals that were chopped and dead

 

she didn't want fruit and wine

or anything else of that kind

 

what she craved couldn't be eaten

or held or touched or soundly beaten

 

but sadly this she couldnt see

and lived her life in gluttony

Author's Note

I made this up for an English III assignment.

Reviews

[Lau Thiam Kok]

It is a clever poem, it kept me reading on from the start as I wanted to know the end or the answer.

Well imagery. A simple and beautiful structure. I liked the start the most,

"Old widow Susan craved love
asked the baker but he had none

went to the vineyard to have a taste
learned that effort was just a waste"

Even though I am a bit disappointed at the end/ answer, maybe I dont really get what you mean by "glutoney" in "lived her life in glutoney".

Over all it is a skillful writing, I seemed to be sitting on a cinema watching a film. Or in other words, it is a very cinematic (or I would say "cinematographical") writing. Well done!

[EdFutinski]

ohoho,wow,amazing.I'm not a very good critic,but i feel the flow,the passion,and that's what poetry is about,right?great great poem,bravo

[Bleeding Ink]

Clever. A great poem of substitution very easily grasped, and with a lesson. Almost both a tragedy and a comedy.

[BelieveInCelia]

...a life spent searching for a prize beyond her reach...
So many, sadly, live this life.

Thank you for your work.
Celia

[Deranged Kiwi]

Quite a clever piece. A bit of slant rhymes mixed in, but overall it was pretty well done. Just watch the spelling on a few words and you should be fine. I enjoy how you "set up" the journey before taking it. I hope you continue to write.

Silent

[Leah Maldonado]

these two lines don;t flow like the rest of them
she didn't want fruit and wine

or anything else of that kind

But I thought that this was a really clever write. nice work
Leah

[JR]

I personally really like this. It's one of the few pieces of writing of mine that I put so much effort into actually!