My Eulogy - A Vignette

Recently I read this at the Frank Bette Center of Arts in Alameda, CA. I wrote this the morning of the reading. A friend told me she thought I should read it. And so I did. I hope you enjoy it. Peace

 

My Eulogy �" A Vignette

 

 

Hiding through shadows

Running on borrowed time

The hounds of hell come running in

As I choose the road less travelled on

 

Running from death since I was twenty-five

I long for a beautiful ride

I’ve heard the moans and seen the terror in her eyes

My mother on the brink of death

Frightened beyond any human’s comprehension

I stood by her bedside and tried to ally her fear

 

For me it was such a rude awakening

It started me thinking of how I would like to die

I long for a beautiful death

I hope the choice is mine to make

Does that make me sound more than  a little bit mad

 

I hope the end will not come soon

I only hope I will be able to relax into death

When the time is due

I hope I will go easy

Play hide and seek with an impish grin

and find freedom in my mind

I fear again I may sound mad

 

II

 

I live my life travelling along, over and under bridges

The Golden Gate bridge is my beacon of hope

It’s filled with beauty, simple elegance and strength

If I could I would choose to travel that bridge alone

However life often sends me a trip across the bridge

Over the River Kwai

 

Human lives are way too short

Struggling, searching, clawing our way

Trying to grasp meaning out of our own existence

Often we don’t know how

Wasting time looking for clues to answers for questions

we only think exist

so disappointed when we find out some question can never be answered

 

As each one of us travels along the river Nile

A metaphor for our dream of the longest life

As long as the river runs 

We navigate through her rushing, crashing, dodging

hoping to catch a much needed break

And sometimes float for a spell

We drift into the unknown

 

III

 

Steering through the course we’ve set

to the best of our ability

we clock milestones and celebrate each major victory

over looking the infinite small victories we make each day

missing  the fact we always have all we ever really need

Hoping to never reach the end

Knowing that’s an impossibility

 

Wondering how far we will be able to navigate

Or the circumstances within our reach

Planting big dreams of what comes next

Overlooking what we could grasp within our reach

How many of us appreciate the genius that we really are

 

Some put our lives in the hands of faith

I work my fingers to the Darwinian bone

Overcome obstacles put in my way

My own and those of others

Or random circumstances I can’t negate

 

Not dwelling  on - but knowing my travel along the Nile will one day end

And when it does, I long for a beautiful death

Peaceful, serene and quick; without warning

If sickness and long term suffering are my fate

I hope to meet a merciful death

 

Cindi Silva

September 8, 2012

 

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good wish for you in the poem. I don't worry about my death. I'm old and going down hill. I pray for the future generation. A merciful death is a very good wish. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote