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A Poem by Luci

CW: brief mention of sexual abuse ... art - 'Lavender' by Holly Warburton

i miss feeling comfortable inside her skin,
to feel at home
under pale folds
the bits that hang over your jeans
i used to tuck away
but now, i hold you and
i want to love you
a body that has been through war
felt cold hands where
they did not belong and
wonder what she could have been
had they never touched at all

but nevermind,
because the scars add to the portrait
create depth with their lines,
like warrior cries,
tiger stripes, or
galaxy skies
a body that tells a story
that only you and her
can comprehend
and what a story it foretold
a tale of triumph and
strength
climbed enough
bloody mountains
for years upon years,
perhaps now she finally deserves
some respite

sometimes, i look in the mirror and i smile
she smiles back at me, and i
realise the way
my eyes now crinkle in the corners,
and i feel warmth.
i stand there,
and i hold myself
like i long to be held
long to feel,
like i belong here,
one day i will be worthy
to love this home
like she has loved me.