Mesh Bicycle

A Poem by CicelyTea

The choices we make in life are our own. Ultimately, we choose our feelings.

You ride through life,
on a mesh bicycle.
Your mistakes and insecurities open,
for the world to see.
Yet,
the wheels keep turning,
as you move in no particular direction.

You wish you could make the framework of your dreams complete.
The person you are within yearns for
a comfortable feeling to sit on,
a nice word,
a positive remark.
But you would never allow yourself to receive it.

You always convinced yourself that you were never good enough.
Not smart enough.
Never pretty enough.
And you rode on.
And on.
Constant thought allowed your bike to keep it's momentum.

It would take you through the warm meadows of family happiness,
by sandy sea green ocean sides of long lived friendships.
Occasionally you would briefly stop and momentarily slide off.

You would take notice of the golden sunsets of imagination that sparked indelible fantasy,
and love.
But again you would choose,
to get back on your bike,
and be driven by the seat of negative motivation.

As you would ride,
you would allow the pebbles of life to come flinging upward and
hit you.
You would allow the most insignificant things to change you,
leaving an indentation on your inner person.
And all because you chose to believe it.

You want to run freely through the meadows.
You want to swim in the oceans.
How you would love to experience the soft green grass,
and the unending sunsets.
But you can't.
Because insecurity is your drug.
You choose to drive that mesh bicycle,
and you dwell in the cage of your own mind.