Ignorance of youth

A piece I did a while ago, sort of a fictional-self reflection

On summer nights I often have heavy feeling of nostalgia slumbering deep within my belly. As I’m sitting on this windowsill gazing out into the night sky pondering the antics of life and the creation of time, I reminisce on the golden era of my life. Where youth came to me in abundance and the coat of invincibility masked my fear leaving me with an adamant mind to accomplish anything. Unfortunately I didn’t seize the opportunity to the best of my abilities; instead it was wasted on a never-ending endeavor to find peace through drugs. When I say peace, don’t stand incorrect and assume I was searching for a peace of mind. It was more seeing how I should live my life whilst under the influence. Although it was only my ignorant mind playing tricks on me in convincing myself that this is how my peace would be achieved. Seeing things through is one of my gifts given to me in this lifetime, an intuition that is in tune with the ever evolving and shifting environment around me. It helps me adapt very quickly to new situations, sensing vibes around me and catching on to little things that help me form the bigger picture in my head almost in an instant. Sometimes it can be my greatest asset then other times it can be the demise of my existence. Quickly shifting my social confidence into a state of taciturnity. Not even a word would be said; no leaks of noise just the silence that I dread. A deafening silence which confronts me with my inner demons. Instead of letting it engulf you with negativity and a dark perception of your life, self-improvement is the only way to bounce back with it.

The night performed in perfect tandem with the never-ending flow of energy radiating from full moon and the abyss of the dark night sky. Almost hitting me like an epiphany I understood the universes’ natural balance that could be seen throughout our world. The moonlight danced throughout my room hitting every crevice, the only shade black was my shadow's silhouette from sitting on the windowsill.