More Rumors

 More Rumors?

     On “Waterworld,” production placed a guy, with an arc welding unit, up high, to create sparks, raining down, on us. A rather well-endowed woman, complained that some of these hot bits, of metal, fell into her cleavage, and burned her breasts. I don’t know if she got paid, for her pain, and suffering, but I hope so.

     On the same shoot, the oars we used to row our oil tanker, were easily 20 feet long, maybe more, and very heavy. In our mad rush to place them when we, “got that tub of s**t, up to speed,” we accidentally struck, a young girl, right in the forehead, with one of the oars. I thought for sure we had killed her, or hurt her, very badly, but she was ok.

     On “Herbie, Fully Loaded,” We got to wait around, doing nothing, and getting paid, because Lindsay Lohan would not come out of her trailer. I was pissed because I was standing in direct sunlight, roasting, at the time. If this rumor is true, then I must thank Ms. Lohan, for the extra hours, I got paid for, while waiting, for her. Later, production placed me in a nice air conditioned viewing area, directly over the finish line. They don’t know, they placed me there, but they did. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. 

     On “Chicago Hope,” I was a gown patient, so I hung out, in a dress, all day. I asked one of my fellow extras, how to get off the soundstage, and go outside. He said, “Right through that door.” I went through the door, he indicated, and right into what appeared to be an office. There were 2 men, standing near a desk, and one of them was Bill Duke. I was surprised, but I kept going, across the soundstage, until I made it outside. I thought I would get into trouble, but I didn’t. 

     I worked at a pet adoption fair, on “The Truth About Cats and Dogs.” There was a 25 pound tabby there, for adoption, named “Buster.” He looked like the kind of housecat that would have no problem, tearing your heart out. My kind of cat. He probably slept all day, like most housecats.

     After 911, the studios wanted to look in, and under your car, before allowing you to drive inside. They always made me open the trunk, but they never looked under the hood. Security indeed! I could have hid 2 people, under the hood, of my truck. I didn’t, but I could have.

     I took a part-time job, as a stagehand, at the “Alex” theatre, in Glendale, CA. One day, a man showed up, who said he was a location scout. He said his production company wanted to shoot some scenes, for a film, there. I told the guy, I was an extra, and he said, “Be here, when we shoot, and I will make sure, you get a voucher.” I have had many promises made to me, in Hollywood. Few were kept. I was there, along with my friend Billy, the day production showed up. Casting did not know anything about us being promised a job, so they put us on a “spec” list, and said if they needed any specs, we would then be considered for work. Later, the location scout, showed up, and I told him what had happened. He went over to the casting guy, and said, “Give him a SAG voucher, and his friend too.” Casting was not happy about it, but they did, as he said. I had keys, to every door, in the theatre, and I knew how to turn on the marquee lights. I also knew how to set the writing, on the marquee, so I ended up, once again, being more important to the production company, than I was, to casting. Wouldn’t have it any other way. At lunch, Billy, and I locked ourselves, inside the theatre offices, which were air-conditioned, and had a nice lunch. Everyone else had to eat inside the theatre. I met some pretty cool people, and some celebrities, while working at that theatre. Hal Holbrook, Bill Maher, and Ray Charles, just to name a few. Oddly enough, I cannot remember the name of the production, I worked on, that day. Oh well, that’s show-biz.

     I have worked on many productions, that I have never seen, and some may have never been released. I don’t know if I will ever see “Pistol Pete,” or the student film, where I was a ghost. I wonder sometimes, if I were to become rich, and famous, how much of these films, would suddenly appear. 

     Once a mob, of us, were chasing Keenan Ivory Wayans, down the street, in an effort to collect the 10 million dollar bounty, on him, in the film, “Most Wanted.” The director kept sending us, “Back to one,” and we were tired, so on “Action,” a bunch of us ran up the hill, and right into a McDonalds restaurant.

     I heard that one of the guys, from casting, who I remembered from “Independence Day,” had gotten into trouble. I asked a fellow extra, why he had not been around, in a long time, and I was told that he was trying to get sexual favors, in exchange for union work, and the girls involved, told on him. If this is true, it would not surprise me. Not the first time, I heard about such a thing happening, in show-biz. 

     My friend Chandra, once told casting, that I was her fiancée, so we could get booked together. She played a mentally ill patient, on a field trip, to the park, and I was just a guy, sitting on the grass. She had no problem acting crazy. She flailed her arms, and chewed on a Frisbee, shaking it like a dog would. A stellar performance. I do not remember the name of this shoot either. 

     On the movie “Seven,” my friend Billy was booked, along with his car. We were getting rained on, and we were soaked, pretty good. Billy said, “Screw this,” and went to sit, in his car. He had not been placed, in his car. It was just parked on the street. He was a pedestrian, on the sidewalk, getting drenched, like the rest of us. At some point, while he was seated, inside his car, 2 other extras, got into an altercation, and one of them picked the other one up, and body slammed him, right down onto the hood of Billy’s car. Billy jumped out of his car, and demanded to know what was going on with these 2 a******s, and would they like to be liable, for the damage, to his car. Not his exact words. He said he scared the s**t, out of both extras, and they ran away, from him. He was lucky they did not turn against him. He said he didn’t care, because their actions might have alerted production, to the fact that he was inside his car, when he was not supposed to be. Fortunately for him, production never found out. I later joined him, in his car, because I was tired of getting soaked too. I was not able to dry out, but I was able to get warm. 

     Sometimes I blamed production, when these kinds of things happened. Production will rain on you, make you work in smoke, refuse to feed you, or even let you go to the bathroom, and on top of all that, they like to f**k with your pay. We sometimes got the impression, from production, and from casting, that since we were getting paid, we should be willing to tolerate anything, for the privilege of working in show business. For me, and my colleagues, we seldom complained about anything, except to each other. Then we would set out to figure a way to make production sorry, for their treatment, of us. I know extras, who have stolen props, from set, and by now, have probably sold them. I have heard about extras selling photos, and I know of extras, who got paid, even though they were not on set, at all. They could not have done this, without help, from other extras, and most of the extras, I knew, would never have participated in such behavior, unless production had pissed them off somehow. Like the time production actually expected us to eat lunch, outside, in the pouring rain. I’m sure a lot of things have changed, since then. Lawsuits have been filed, and asses have been kicked. Thank God for lawyers who work on a contingency basis. I am also sure, that there are still production companies, who try to see how far they can push us, and casting companies that are only to happy to oblige them. Maybe someday, someone will make a movie about the reality of extra work, and things will get better. One can only hope. I still would not trade any of my memories, of working in Hollywood. It was just so much fun, and I enjoyed it so much!