Cops and Robbers

Cops and Robbers

     

There are a lot of cops, and robbers, in the movies, and on TV. Some would say to much, but we must like it, because we keep tuning in. Cops, robbers, and courtroom drama. I did not get booked as a robber very much. I was a “perp,” on “Alien Nation,” but I don’t think you can see me. You can see me, as a detective in the same movie. I’ve been an inmate too, but I never found out what I was “in” for. Could have been drunk driving, or some other crime, not involving robbery. I worked one day on, “Sometimes they come back again.” I was a cop, inside the home of a doctor, who was being investigated for bad things, including child porn. I’ve never seen the film.

     I played an FBI agent, in the film, “Pups.” A film about a 13 year old boy, who finds a gun, and decides to rob, a bank, with some help, from his girlfriend. We could tell right away, it was a low budget movie, even though it starred Burt Reynolds. We worked 2 days. We were outside the bank, and the young robbers, were trapped inside the bank. At one point, one of the robbers threw a bunch of money, from the bank, into the crowd. They all went crazy, trying to get the free money. 

     Production brought in a helicopter, for some scenes, and my friend Billy, who is “All Over” this movie, remarked, “That’s where all the money, for this film went. To the helicopter.” I disagreed. “I bet Burt Reynolds didn’t come cheap.” Billy would not back up. “I bet he is doing a favor for the director. He probably knows the guy. Might even be working, for free.” He then got excited. “This isn’t a low budget movie, it’s a no budget movie. You really think Burt needs the work?” I was still unconvinced. “Maybe he knows the guy. I don’t know, and I’m not going to ask him, but I doubt very much, that Burt, “Boogie Nights” Reynolds, is working, for free. By the way Bill, what is your favorite Burt Reynolds movie?” He smiled at me, and said, “This one, cause I’m in it.” 

     Later, I was seated in the back of a police vehicle, with 3 other federal agents. The man, in the drivers seat was none other than Burt Reynolds. I was not about to ask him if, or how much, he was getting paid, for this film, but I did have a question, so I said, My friend says you destroyed 3 Trans Ams, in “Smokey and the Bandit.” Is that true? I figure you destroyed more.” He looked in the rear view mirror, and I could see his eyes. “You tell your friend, he is right on the money.” Then he turned to face me. “I’ll tell you a little story, about that film. Sales at Pontiac, went up, so much, from that film, that they promised me a new car, every year, but it never happened, because the president of Pontiac died, and they said the promise came from the old president, not the new one. It’s ok though, because they didn’t have to give me anything.” He then got called to work, and exited the car, we were in. 

     Low budget, or not, “Pups,” was a lot of fun to work on. I cannot suspend my disbelief enough to think a 13 year old kid, would have lasted very long, trying to rob a bank, and take on the FBI. I still enjoyed playing cops, and robbers, with my colleagues. My friend the Danimator is “All Over” this movie too.  I am visible at least twice, and I got to meet Burt Reynolds. We also got paid, in cash, on set, so we did not have to wait for our money. Once again, a good time was had, by all.

     On “E R,” I was once booked, as a Chicago cop, in full winter uniform. People kept asking me, if the gun, I was wearing, was real. I’ll take stupid questions, for a thousand, Alex. Duh! You are on a movie set. Nothing is real, including the guns. I still have a picture, from that shoot. I did not do anything special that day. Just hung out, at the hospital set, and did a few crosses. 

     On “NYPD Blue,” I hung out, in a bar, where the patrons were mostly cops. I must have been a detective, because I was not in uniform. I drank, and smoked cigars, all day. 

     I already devoted a chapter, to my work, as a small town sheriff’s deputy, on “Frailty.” 

     I did one episode of “X-Files.” I don’t know if I was a cop, or a fed, or what. I just walked through the scene, in a Haz-Mat suit. I looked more like a bee keeper, than anything else.

     On “Turbulence,” production dressed me as airport police. Also in full uniform. Night stick. Gun. Flashlight. Everything. I wore rain gear too, because it was raining. I thought, at the time, that I looked pretty good, but I never got a picture. Later, on the same shoot, they gave me a police car, and a path to drive it, that carried me under the wing, of a parked jet, at LAX. This was before 911, so the rules, for working at LAX, were more relaxed. I probably should have gotten stunt pay, for repeatedly driving a police car, very fast, under a plane. This did not happen. It did get me out of the rain, so that was good. 

I have never seen “Turbulence,” so I do not know, if I am visible. Even if I am, it was dark, raining, and I was inside a car, with the windows up. Production gave me a radio, to communicate with them, during these scenes. You might be able to see the car. You will just have to take my word, when I say that I am in this film. Again doing my job, which is to be invisible. 

     On “The Practice,” I played a court bailiff, and a lawyer. I have also sat in the gallery, of a courtroom, as a spectator. I was a courtroom spectator, in a music video, for “Jay-Z.” Another time for, “National Lampoons Seven Deadly Sins. Greed.” I sat in those hard wooden seats, that were more like church pews, for 2, or 3, very long days. At least 12 hours, or more. I should have brought a pillow, for my backside. My friend Ellen, actually brought some fangs, to set. Yes, I wrote fangs. These were not ordinary fangs. These fangs were molded specifically for her mouth. Very special fangs indeed! It seems she liked vampires. To each his, or her own. I prefer zombies, having been dead, on my feet, many times.

     On “Face/Off,” I was a SWAT officer, and rode, in a police car, with a stunt driver. Big fun!

     I also played security, at a Kung Fu match, in a film, who’s title, I cannot remember. I wore a bright orange Darth Vader looking helmet, and a police vest. I also carried a very large wooden club. It was a ridiculous film, and I cannot remember if it was made for cable TV, the country of Japan, or both. The film had a very Japanese feel, about it. Just my humble opinion. I remember getting paid 65 dollars, for 8 hours. This was only because I was booked as security. Many thanks to Jeff Olan, and the casting directors, at Rainbow Casting, for all the work, over the years.  I made around 87 bucks, per day. Pretty good, for the mid nineties. I worked 2 days, at the Pantages theatre, in Hollywood. My friend Kyle, let production glue a fake beard, on his face, and it looked pretty funny. I almost did not recognize him. Another guy was smoking, on set. He said that production would not let him go outside, to smoke, so he was gonna smoke inside, and if they did not like it, they could go f**k themselves. I don’t remember seeing him much, after that. Maybe once, or twice, in 10 years. Usually bitching about not getting any work. I have never seen this film, and I don’t know if I ever will, because I don’t know it’s name. I got paid right, and the check cleared, so for me, that is all that matters.