Virtuosity

 Virtuosity

     “Virtuosity was a production, I worked on, for several different days, and we shot many different scenes. I am not visible, in the film. Like most of the productions, I worked on. I was, as my friend Billy liked to say, “In it, but not in it.” I like to think I was pretty good at being invisible, because of this. On other productions, you might be hard pressed, to find me, even though I am visible. Of all the hundreds of productions, I have worked on, I am clearly visible, in only a handful, and it probably was not my idea.

     My first memory of “Virtuosity,” was outside a tall office building, in downtown Los Angeles, near the public library. I was part of a crowd of protesters, but I have no idea what we were protesting against. I got to wear my own clothes. Again. In addition, the wardrobe department borrowed a sweater from me, and my friend Jesse wore it. So, even though I am not visible, my sweater is. I was placed close to the street, and the scene required us to move aside, rather quickly, to avoid a police van, that was rolling up, to us. I am there, but you cannot see me. Later I was placed, inside the building. Shots were fired. We panicked, and ran, not knowing where the shots were coming from. This scene is in the film, but you cannot see me. 

     We also reacted to an invisible helicopter, and a real one. I spoke with one of the off-duty LAPD/security guys, working the shoot, and he said that not only was it very difficult to get a permit, to fly a helicopter, over Los Angeles, it was also expensive. The production company was also blocking the street, and the cop told me that their permit was from 7:00 PM, until 7:00 AM. I knew I would be wrapped, at that time. Sure enough, the on-duty LAPD showed up at about 6:45 AM, to help the production company remember what time their permit expired. I was wrapped at 7:00 AM, and ended up with a 13 hour day. If you are an extra, a 13 hour day, is pretty good. 

     My friend Jesse, got booked as a protester that night, but later production decided to make him a virtual clone.  A bunch of extras, all wearing gray suits, and wearing many layers, of pancake makeup. They all looked alike, and we were poking fun, at them, all night. I think it is pretty neat, to be able to say, “I was a virtual clone, in a big budget video game.” That is, after all, where “SID 6.7” came from. A video game that the police used to practice catching criminals. 

     Apparently, some mad scientist, who was also sexually frustrated, (aren’t they all?) had figured out a way to bring a virtual girl, he was crazy about, into the real world. Unfortunately something went wrong, as it always does, and a character with hundreds of different personality types, all of them murderous criminals, was brought to life instead. His name was “SID 6.7.” Supposedly SID stands for “Sadistic, Intelligent, and Dangerous. The 6.7 is just the latest software model number. I guess the previous editions were to easy, for the police, to catch, or kill.

     This was the first time, I remember seeing Russell Crowe. I had heard of Denzel Washington before, but I never watched “St. Elsewhere.” I am just not a big fan of shows, that have hospitals in them. The only reason I ever watched “ER,” is because I worked on it, several times. Maybe I have spent to much time, in hospitals, and it was usually depressing, in some way. I do not know, and it really doesn’t matter. So “Virtuosity” was my first recollection of Denzel Washington too. Twenty years later, look how far, both men have come. Outstanding! I do not know of another film, featuring Denzel Washington, and Russell Crowe. Maybe they should make a “Virtuosity II.” I am surprised they didn’t. It would not be the first time a film, that did not do, as well as it could have, was made into a sequel. 

     Next I went to downtown Los Angeles, and worked at one of the flea markets. I think it was on Broadway, or Main street, not to far from 7th. “SID 6.7” was there, watching TV, and killing people. Denzel Washington’s character, “Parker Barnes” was also there, in hot pursuit. I did a few crosses, and bought a package of socks, from one of the vendors. I am not visible, in this scene either,  but it was a lot of fun. Working in downtown Los Angeles is always an adventure. You never know who is going to come along and ask you to give them, your spare change. Like a movie extra, earning minimum wage, and paying child support, would have any spare change. 

     The best scenes, we shot, were at the Grand Olympic Auditorium, in downtown Los Angeles. We were booked as spectators, at a caged fighting match. We were all directed to yell, “Ka-Pow! Ka-Pow! Ka-Pow, Ka-Pow, Ka-Pow!” We did this over, and over again. Denzel Washington is chasing Russell Crowe, as usual. “SID 6.7” has come into the balcony, wearing an almost neon bright, blue suit, that he took from one of his victims. It reminded me of the joker, from “Batman.” He proceeds to throw a guy, off the balcony, and we got to see the rehearsal. The production company fired a crash-test dummy, out of an air cannon, over the balcony railing, onto a large stack of memory foam blocks, on the floor below. They repeated this several times,  until the dummy struck the center, of the stack of foam. Then they put a live stunt man, in the cannon, and fired again. He almost made it, but not quite. He struck the balcony railing, but he either allowed, or assisted his forward motion, and fell over the railing, after striking it. He also landed on the stack of memory foam, but just barely. If he was injured, he hid it very well. I heard through the grapevine that he either cracked, or broke, some ribs, when he struck the railing. If this is true, I am sure the production company took good care, of him. 

     “Parker Barnes” ran right past me, in his pursuit of “SID 6.7.” I am there, but you cannot see me. After SID threw his hapless victim, off the balcony, he did a back flip, into the center of the stage. Now the crash-test dummy is wearing the same blue suit. The landing area was way to far away, from the launch point, so production “cheated” the stage, closer to where we were. It was still pretty far away. I could not swear by it, but I bet that scene had some computer generated effects, added to it. Still, it turned out pretty good. I had a lot of fun, working on this movie, but you cannot see me anywhere, so you will just have to take my word for it. Or not. Suit yourself.