Killing Time

           Killing Time

     Often there are long waiting periods, while on set. Why doesn’t the director of photography smoke? Because it takes him 3 hours, to light up. Extras are encouraged, to bring along, a book, or some other small item, that does not make noise. Quiet on set! We find many ways to amuse ourselves. Reading. Writing. Sleeping. Playing cards, and board games. Singing, dancing, and a host of other activities, to numerous, to mention. Some you would not believe. I was there, and I still don’t believe it. Just like Mardi-Gras. Because we worked in show business, we often discussed it. Everything about it. Good. Bad. Ugly. Current job. Other jobs with same cast, or crew. Jobs available. Worse jobs. Better jobs. Best jobs. Best, and worst casting directors. Best calling service. Best payday. Biggest a******s, famous, or not. Nice guys. Nice girls. Really nice girls. Naked girls, etc. 

   All this talk of show business, led to the following game, that I first played, on the set of, ”My Left Hook,” which later changed it’s name to, “Tyson.” The rules were simple. Come up with a clever, witty, or funny response, to the question, “What’s your favorite ____________ movie?” We would fill in the blank, and our lucky contestant, had to answer. No answer, or stupid answer meant, next contestant. The following, is a short list of some of the responses, I have heard, over the years. Some are pretty good. Some became keepers, until I hear better. Most, I did not write. Thanks to whoever did. Just killing time.

                                What is your favorite _____________________ movie/episode?

Steven Segal - “Executive Decision.”   (He dies early in the film.)

Star Trek - Someone wearing red, gets killed.

Kurt Russell - “The computer wore tennis shoes.”

Bruce Willis - The one where he smokes, drinks, and kills a lot of people.

Mel Gibson - The one where everybody wants to kill him, but they can’t.

John Wayne - The one where he gives all the orders.

Steven Spielberg - The one with the shark.

Monster - The one where somebody warns everyone, about the monster, but nobody listens,

so they all die.

Porn - The one with no dialogue.

Alfred Hitchcock - The one with the birds, in the shower.

Killer on the loose - The one that has barely dressed stupid girls, someone dies while engaged in

a sexual act, and the killer dies, more than once.

Chuck Norris - The one where someone, close to him, dies. I also like the one with Bruce Lee.

Bruce Lee - The one where he beats the s**t out of everybody.

Clint Eastwood - The one where he shoots first.

Meryl Streep - The one where she speaks with an accent.

Superhero - They all suck. Except the one with Sam Jackson.

Jean Claude Van-Damme - The one where he gets his a*s beat, in the beginning, but in the end, he wins.

Mel Brooks - The stupid one.

Sylvester Stallone - The one where he is alone against an army. (See also, John Claude Van-Damme.)

Tom Cruise - The one where he plays a cocky, young guy.

Arnold Schwarzenegger - The one where he gets shot at.

Jonny Quest - Someone dies a horrible, violent death.

Dennis Hopper - All of them.

Jack Nicholson - All of them.

George Romero - The one with the word ”Dead”, in the title.

Al Pacino - “Say hello to my little friend!”

Comedy - See Mel Brooks.

Sam Jackson - Who cares? It’s Sam Jackson.

Disney - The one with the dog, that made everybody cry.

Robert De Niro - “You talking to me?”