Wilderness

fragile mind, fragmented heart; i fear i've forgotten how to feel.
but though not ready, i rise and cut my roots to become real.
walking on the edge of the withering wilderness, i want to learn to win.
how to secure a place in the sky among the stars; is it a sin?

i gave it all up, guts and glory in the name of grace,
fought all my fears in a feverish haze just to forget your face.
but now you're back, you bite and bark to make me bend;
etch it into your mind that eternity is earned but here is where we end.

no time for triggers lest i tell a tale, then i'll have to cut my tongue;
yet it was only yesterday that i yearned to be with you, again young.
alone now, i aim for an apple of allure to lead me astray;
do i let death's daughters decide my downfall for another day?

once, i delved into the dark and delicate woods so deep,
where the sound and sighs of silence sent me into a serene sleep,
i woke to wild roses on my head and wolf's skin keeping me warm,
and i was told there and then it was my time to transform.

i drowned in despair when you dropped your word and disappeared,
my focus faded as forever fell from my grasp just as i had feared.
and i was alone until you arrived again in my life but not to atone,
only to overthrow me from my throne as if i was for you to own.

now i wonder how i saw heaven in you but not your horns,
while you only thought to see me as rose, ignoring my thorns.
now you're murmuring amends with your mouth and begging mercy,
but to forgive and forget is not my way even now that i'm free.

in the wilderness, i was a wild rose but you were a wicked weed.
but while i'm bent, i'm not broken and done having you watch me bleed.
so i slash at the weeds in the garden in my chest, slash at my heart strings,
because i'm willing to watch you wither so i can spread my own wings.

Author's Note

I stopped paying attention to my classes just to finish this -- my first poem ever since I had my months-long creativity block.

Also, I included consonance and alliteration which I have both not used in my poetry for a long time.

I have my own interpretation for each stanza but, please, feel free to say what's on your mind.

Reviews

[William Liston]

Wow! I'm in love with this poem. It portrays a high degree of skill ... the alliteration and consonance are done frequently, but not to the point where it sounds forced. This reminds me of "The Raven" by Edgar Poe in a way; he used a lot of alliteration in that piece and I loved it. This also reminds me of a piece I read by Sylvia Plath about two months ago ... I can't remember the name of it, but I remember that she used alliteration in almost every line.

As for the emotional impact of this piece, I felt it was poignant. I could feel a sense of anger, despair, and desperation as I read this ... the speaker had a very harsh tone towards the one who wronged him/her ... it was almost scary.

If I may critique, I think that you should've used proper grammar in this. The style you've used (with the uncapitalized letters) doesn't seem to fit the uniform structure prevelant throughout the rest of the poem. Usually, rhyming poems (such as this) use proper capitalization while free verse poems bend the rules at times. Still, though, this is your poem and you can write it however you want. Either way, I think it's amazing.

- William Liston

[Chrys Marie]

I'll try to take your advice. I really appreciate your feedback, thank you so much!

[brownie2109]

This poem is fantastic. I especially love the use of alliteration throughout the poem and the imagery is so vivid and symbolic. The last stanza is particularly my favourite.

[Chrys Marie]

Thank you!