Longevity is a Punishment

Throughout all my early years and as mad as I have been, I never had once to visit my GP (unless pulling a sicky), or least of all, go into hospital.

But alas, ever since I have retired hospital appointments keep popping up via my mail box week by week.

I spent my last five years of employment as a home-carer �" caring for the elderly. After seeing so many problems with people of a very old age who required my services to do all sorts of unimaginable things �" I suddenly thought..,

'Longevity is a Punishment' for maybe sins we did in our previous life.

I mean they often say that the 'Good Die Young!'

I am more than believing that this is to be true.

Since my retirement all hell has happened to me: falls that have given a broken collar bone and steel rods below my hip. I got blood circulation problems that last had me to have three blood transfusions.

I just don't get it!

Nothing has changed for me inside: I still love the Rolling Stones and fancy the 'Hippy Hippy Shake'.

Today was my limit (the real reason I am writing). After first having tubes and cameras shoved down my throat and other orrises I dare not mention �" today I had to go for a further test to have a 'special techno camera' inserted into my lower bowl to investigate further 'whatever'.

I first thought 'O this is going to be easy: just swallow the capsule and on my way!' It's very advanced modern technology that I had never heard of before. Apparently one gets wired up to a small box, swallow the capsule and hey-ho you could be on YouTube with exciting visuals.

First, the capsule was much larger than I first thought. I wondered, 'Do I also have to swallow a larger power battery afterwards to make it work?'

'No!' They said, 'just swallow the capsule in one gulp and all will be done!'

Famous last words..,

I swallowed the said capsule over and over again �" at least four times but it would just not go down.

By now, I was completely exhausted and had chocked or reached enough to give me a sore throat.

The good nurse came back and said 'Right! We will get you back into 'Tracto-whatever' and the doctor can force it down.

I reluctantly followed suit..,

I went in there and followed the procedure of which I had done before. They said 'This time it will be different as we have the capsule fitted!'

Like an old soldier I followed their instructions despite fearing the worst from my previous experience of this procedure.

With capsule fitted, they shoved the lot down my neck. I was completely traumatized but as said, I am an old brave soldier. It went down and down and I tried so hard to relax and breath �" but for them it just got stuck again.

I soon once again brought this large capsule back up to the surface.

The doctor said, 'Shall we try again?'

I said 'No!'

'I will give you more than my name, rank and serial number to please not do it again!'

I am now back home again and feeling absolutely shattered.

I feel proud of our NHS and all our doctors and nurses.,

But please.., no more. Just let me go away and die..,

Peacefully.

Christine