him

sometimes, I fear 

that my heart lays interred in the ground 

cold and empty in a grave alongside the boy who took it with him 

when he left this earth too early 

when he promised me forever and a day though his time had already run out

sometimes, I fear 

that I will never be able to trust a man with my heart 

because I learned long ago that this life is not fair and the world is not always kind to you

and just because everything happens for a reason does not mean that reason is easy to accept 

so if loving means vulnerability then maybe I am more suited to loneliness

  

sometimes, I fear 

that one day I will look into my husband’s eyes and know that my whole heart is not his 

that I have reserved a special part of my love for someone whose voice is a whisper on the wind

whose face is a distant memory 

whose touch i can no longer remember

but still, I will love him all the same 

sometimes, I fear 

that the ghost of a boy who was once mine will haunt me for the rest of my life 

and that’s what they don’t tell you about love 

it is stronger than you think and it is something you can never forget