almost broken hearts

today was awful

we sat there, staring into space, unable to make eye contact

you reached for my hand and I told you not to touch me

we were strangers 

I couldn't even look you in the eye to tell you the truth you had to hear

I thought to myself that I couldn't believe the end of us

wasn't a beautiful fireworks display

bright and burning but dying out quickly 

instead it was strangled silence

heavy sighs and tearful eyes and choking out the words neither of us wanted to say

in a dark empty parking lot

sitting there with inches between us that felt like miles of distance 

and then all of a sudden I couldn't do it

I couldn't let you go and maybe that makes me weak

or selfish 

or deluded

but my heart was begging me to tell you to stay

so I whispered that I wanted to be with you 

that all I wanted was us 

and when you said "I'm so sorry baby, I don't want to fight anymore" 

the missing piece of my heart clicked into place

and the hands that I love reached toward me

and when our lips met they were like puzzle pieces sliding together

a perfect fit 

I could kiss you for days on end 

and in the aftermath, when they wonder why I took you back 

I do not know how to explain 

it is in the way that you are with me

we're in the middle of an argument and you interrupt just to say that you miss the way I smell

and that it's killing you not to be able to touch me 

and that you are so sorry you hurt me 

I don't know if what we're doing is right or wrong

but I know that my heart fits into your hands like it was made for you to hold

I have a feeling that my greatest adventure is you

and it is just beginning.