Fish, Water, Edge

Poem.

 

Fish around an edge

Bodies briefly

Seem like sheets

Of silver, skimming around

The edges of the pond.

Tales glinting under

The water

Pass the vision

As bursts of energy,

Brushing loose

Strands of weed-

Sea material brought in by

Nature’s tidy brush-

And heading towards

Other realms of the pond.

Softening the water

With their presence.

 

4-1-10, edited 4-7-10

 

Author's Note

4-7-10
Written seven days ago. Just got around to editing and polishing it. Finished result here.

Reviews

[Relic]

Great poem. A friend of mine used to have a backyard pond. We used to see those sheets of silver all the time.

Awesome work. :)

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

I like the concept of this, it shimmers.

I find it great when you write like a painter. You should do more of that, write for pure beauty's sake.

My only critique would perhaps be to have stanzas?

[An owl on the moon]

This was so very peaceful for me.. I could see the silver come alive through your words.. I love to stand near a pond or river and watch the fish.. there seems such freedom..like in your words.

[Erin]

I like the hint of humanity at the beginning and then the sort of naturalistic take with the prose. beautiful :)

[C. Porter]

I like the flow of this, and the picture adds a nice touch. Kudos.

[Joe]

This was pretty.

[Shanny Rowanhill]

Nice, i like the abstract feeling of it :)