Transit of Venus

This is probably silly but I had an idea of chaos within our solar system. The close relationship between the Sun & Venus and the protection of their baby (Earth). It can be taken a few ways.

Transit of Venus

On the other side

As the war split the world in two

I let go of your hand and said "Goodbye" to you

I saw your heart

Drifting into the battlefields

Leaving scars that would never heal

From the underside 

My heart ripped my chest in two

Leaping out to come after you

Not far behind

The moon and neighboring stars aligned

Joining forces to be by our side

Just on the edge

Of the gap in-between the world

The moon and stars gave my heart a hurl

It landed hard

In the warring side of the Earth

Drawing swords it began the search

Now guided by

The stars brilliant internal light

Your heart began to shine so bright

With swords in hand

It charged through the dark forces

And with our hearts it stabbed the sorceress

From the dark

I saw you coming back to me

And the stars returning to the galaxy

So from here on out

We will stay closer than we've ever been

Inside me you will hide if it ever happens again

Now,

We'll watch from afar

As she's born into the light

Her blue eyes will pierce the night.

Reviews

[s y e]

I really like where you took this one, Batman. I would never have thought of anything like this and the way you've written it and presented it is remarkable. You really are a very talented writer.

The story you tell in this poem really hits the reader and you do get your point across. It is something that I could read every single day and never get bored... Honestly amazing!!

[Chris Micha]

Awe Sye, you are so sweet my dear to say that. I am so glad to have your support and you've been a great friend my dear! :)

[s y e]

You've been a great friend to me too! :)

[Makatang Prinsesa]

Thanks for sharing! This is quite a powerful piece and vivid play of words.I love the heavenly bodies and this poem took me to a different realm up above. A strong, enchanting piece!

[Chris Micha]

Thank you so much, Makatang :)

[Parimal Pratyush]

Amazing way to portray such a beautiful story. Feels like a movie scene while reading. :D Fan.

[Chris Micha]

Thank you sir :)

[Matching Socks]

So beautiful, exquisite, romantic.

[Chris Micha]

Thanks so much, Ance :)

[V. P. Trujillo]

Very very nice stanzas. The rhymes give it this traditional feel that adds more to the atmosphere, like a 13th century tale.

[Chris Micha]

Thank you so much, Vincent :)

[John Anderson]

This is so well-done. I like the title and the emotion. You are a wonderful poet.

[Chris Micha]

Thank you so much, John :)

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

hmm... very Interesting in deed.


beautiful Stanza's lines.



I saw your heart

Drifting into the battlefields

Leaving scars that would never heal


Thank you for this Intelligent piece.

Blessings. kindred poet

[Chris Micha]

Thank you for your wonderful review, Kindred. I am glad you enjoyed it my dear! :)

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

You're very welcome. it's my pleasure. blessings. Kindred poet

[NoelHC]

Very well written, and interesting to read, you have more talent than you credit yourself with.

[Chris Micha]

Well that means so much to me, Noel. Sir, I really appreciate you! :)

[lissalovesyou]

This beautiful poem tells a story that is far more creative than anything I've read so far. Emotional and I love the last line.
lissalovesyou:)

[Chris Micha]

Thank you so much, Lisa. You're one of my biggest advocate and I am grateful! :)

[lissalovesyou]

I'm flattered.
Your poems always leave me thinking about something new.
lissalovesyou:)

[MOON]

This is great story telling , you evoke such great images of the night sky and create romance . Lovely.

[Chris Micha]

Thank you so much, Moon. I really appreciate it! :)