Awesome! The rhythm in this is epic and kept me going. I actually heard a beat in my head along with some trippy music to go along with it. The story woven here is eclectic, fun, yet twisted into something deliciously dangerous and mental, with a side of surrealism. I love the way you wrote it, your style is growing on me. Unique but awesome.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
Reviews
There I am finally ;)
You really summarize the nowdays illness of the world to a One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, isolated chamber, almost, narrowed, alone, hurted, white, and with white solemn noise.... Yes, good question, is it a mind scene? through Psychosis, Schizophrenia? Borderline? or just clean and white only? Neurotic? OCD filled? It's a made up box ring, where thoughts, fight, to each corner of those soften white pillows here, but raw in reality, His, chemical dis-balance is well spelled out, in the written world. (Pity there isn't dopamine) for the mental illness I catch here. :D however those two are brilliant, Lythium, for the Alien faces I Imagine, rather white-silvered in their hue, Then "Thorazine" brings me back to my earlier senses, of Schizophrenia... in connection yeah, it makes sense... nice... His feelings are apathetic and the world, flattened, in his scene... still aware, to "prepare" for the game... (in)(sane?) there is the right question dear... you ask us.
Maybe in his world and in the fight, of his mind, as in the K1-fight, he sees humans, as strangers, not those of his solid world, his sudden mood-swings, and switches, out of reality. :) Then back to his other persona on his bed, hungry, and wondering, if he suffered of megalomania by wearing blue blood as a royal, or being just beaten out in red human blood....finally he pissed his pants, because fear was him all the time boss.....
Awesome writing... my kind off.... psychology... loved it, Christian well done.
- Elisa
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much Elisa for that wonderful amazing review! This is one of my favorite subjects, and.. read moreThank you so much Elisa for that wonderful amazing review! This is one of my favorite subjects, and the mind is such an interesting thing. The fact that he doesn't know what sanity is truly like and we don't know what insanity is truly like. Is kind of what I was going for. I mean who to say who's sane and who's not...right. :)
10 Years Ago
You are welcome my dear friend, Oh the mind is such an interesting thing, I can't be without mine ;).. read moreYou are welcome my dear friend, Oh the mind is such an interesting thing, I can't be without mine ;) for it guides me.... as it does to you I see. That's wonderful, it's so on point... keep on provoking your psychological neat as need, in your brilliance :)
I read this poem as a well structured expression of how mental illness was treated way back in the Dark Age of Medicine and Superstition. We know now that mental illness just results from a neuro-chemical imbalance in the brain, that may be corrected for. Research is still going on as to how to accomplish this without hurtful side effects. Mental illness has a physical cause.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
True...this was inspired by the old generations treatment. I got to tour an old mental illness ward .. read moreTrue...this was inspired by the old generations treatment. I got to tour an old mental illness ward and the horror of the treatments were lasting.
Hmm... This is Frighteningly Interesting
Asylums used to frighten me but I learned they
only for those that were mentally sick in the
mind.
But this takes you back to how sad it was
in the 1960s I am fascinated with history.
There's 2 Old Asylum's some where here in
Georgia it is closed but I thought they would
show one's around in the older Buildings
and tell them about the rooms and what not.
they are not near the area
where we live at.
But I learned more
about them and that some of
them were trying to help them
not harm them but I wouldn't want
to be around then who knows how they
would react to the unknown things some
of us are born with I won't speak of,
it would be very creepy.
I still don't like Asylums they
are creepy to me.
But you brought this
Piece to life and love how
it flowed was easy to read
and understand.
Thank you for sharing. Blessings. Kindred poet
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much for the amazing review. I was inspired by one not to far from where I live and I g.. read moreThank you so much for the amazing review. I was inspired by one not to far from where I live and I got to learn a lot of its history. Very intriguing indeed! :)
10 Years Ago
You're very welcome.
yes very much so indeed History and Geography are my
fav.. read moreYou're very welcome.
yes very much so indeed History and Geography are my
favorite subjects and I love things from the 60's or those
old times I wasn't around so it catches my attention.
I enjoyed this. I thought it would be even better if you kept some of your stanzas in the alliteration you started. Great piece.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Awesome! I'm glad you liked it Taylor. I thought about it but I didn't want to turn it into a big ba.. read moreAwesome! I'm glad you liked it Taylor. I thought about it but I didn't want to turn it into a big babble. lol :)
The alliteration here is splendid! Dripping drip drops of drool on dark drifting dreams. Love it. The way this is written it could almost be performed as a rap! Not only did you use alliteration but its twin ( the literary device where you pair similar sounding words together). "Looney tunes' 'cartoons.' This makes for a very effective and fun to say read. Keep the insanity coming!
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Many thanks Margo! Always a pleasure to have you review and comment. :)
A creative and intriguing concept that put me in mind of the experimental Beat poetry of the 1960s and thereabouts...a mysterious mix of storytelling and poetry as well, which doesn't always make for a rosy marriage, but you've brought the two elements together seamlessly...well done Christian :)
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you my friend for that wonderful review. I didn't think it would work either but it came out o.. read moreThank you my friend for that wonderful review. I didn't think it would work either but it came out okay. Glad you enjoyed it! :)
10 Years Ago
Hell yeah, that's awesome to hear, and I really appreciate it! Thank you for the awesome review. :)
To sum me up is pretty easy. I love writing because it's therapy for my wayward soul. Although, I am by no means any good at it, I still put myself out there. I use to write when I was younger but gav.. more..