In A Far Away Land...

A fun piece.

In A Far Away Land...

Sits a lonely stoned walled castle
Its pristine outside
untouched by the hands of time
But inside its beautiful walls
lives a pretentious ugly monster
That destroys anything or anyone
that dares step inside her.

One Stormy Day...

Along came a determined prince
that stumbled upon this beautiful castle
surrounded by white sands
and blue-calm waters
It looked cozy and inviting
So he kicked down the door
Slayed the beast
and freed the princess it was hiding.

Reviews

[Aethereal]

'This sure was a fun read. It reminds me of the old song about castles crumbling:

“Castles will crumble,
and fall after all
for life’s really funny that way,
but just remember that sunshine
always follows the rain …”
so push those monsters away, and
send them packing for Spain.

[Chris Micha]

Thank you so much! I'm going to look that song up. :)

[Aethereal]

You're welcome! Notice how well the lines of this song flow. Once you hear you never forget it.

[melissa]

This is amazing poem keep up the great work and keep them coming

[Chris Micha]

Thanks so much, Melissa! :)

[melissa]

Your welcome

[Brittany Zedalis]

This is very cute. I love happy poems such as this. Great job.

[Chris Micha]

Thanks so much, Brittany. I really appreciate your review.

[Madalyn Beck]

Aww! You wrote us a fairy tale! I love this. It's a great write, but I would love to see it end with her being upset that he broke in! Just a thought... Great write! (:

[Chris Micha]

Have him placed in a dungeon by black knights of her command. ;) Now you got me thinking, ma'am!

[Madalyn Beck]

Hahahaha! Can't wait to see what comes next! (:

[Baby Ricochet]

This is a fun piece. Good one

[Chris Micha]

Thanks my friend! Glad you liked it, sir.

[Sami Khalil]

I think you are delving now more into story telling which you do it so good too along with poetry. The more dramatic it is and mysterious the more interest you will get too I think. You have all the ingredients and you know how to spin great ones... A splendid one...:)......................

[Chris Micha]

Thanks my friend. I'm in a slump right now, so I just put something out there. I know it was silly but I figured if I keep writing, something good will come out lol. :) Hope you had a good Easter!

[Sami Khalil]

You too. You are welcome muchly...:)................

[Margo Seuss]

Ah, such a classic. A castle, a fair maiden and a dragon. You wrapped the cliché in a poem and made it easy on the eyes. This poem would serve itself well in a children's book with a nice illustration.

A couple lines stood out to me in this poem. The last two of the first stanza "That destroys anything or anyone that dares step inside her." These lines made me think a person was physically placing themself inside the monster. I don't know if that's what you intended, but the images my brain produced were a little wonky. Aren't you already destroyed when you walk inside a monster?! (Me and my silly literal brain)! The other line is "that stubbled upon this beautiful castle." Did you mean stumbled?

Overall, this piece was short and sweet, but not lacking in description. A true writer can get a across a message in the fewest of words!

[Chris Micha]

Thank you for finding that typo! The castle represents the outside of the girl, beautiful & sweet, inside the castle represents who she really is. The prince, of course, changes who she was and they live happily ever after lol. Just a simple write that has a little message. ;)

[Margo Seuss]

I figured there had to be something deeper! That's brilliant!

[Glass Heart Inc]

And they probably lived happily ever after. Very cute poem. I'm a fan of fairytales, so I liked this.

[Chris Micha]

Aww thank you! I'm sure they did. ;)