Message In A Bottle

What do we do when there's nothing left?

"Message In a Bottle"

Sunset grips onto the edge of the horizon

burnt-orange rays singing a farewell tune

giving the night the stage to share its empty theatre

the lone character will be the melancholy Moon.

The last of dying eyes, waning at the vast unknown

waiting to catch a ride on the savior comet

to ride it to anywhere but here

finding refuge in a new found home.

Their cries travel at the speed of light

making their rounds through the Milky Way

echoing in the ears of distant galaxies

waiting for their Heroes to save the day.

Attached to this rocket, is a message in a bottle,

we're sending it out as our epitaph.

"To whomever may come across this message.

 We have destroyed Earth's beautiful gift of life; taken her last breath and with that,

we ensured our death."

Reviews

[Margo Seuss]

Oh this is truly great. The first stanza is my favourite. I must ensure, before I critisize, that I understand the meaning here. Humans have destroyed the Earth ( by making it so poluted it's uninhabitable I would imagine) and are leaving a message in a bottle for any other life forms who decide to drop by. Humans are looking for a new planet!!! Correct me if I am wrong!!! Afterall, the message is the most important part!!!

The only small thing with this poem is the ryhming. The first stanza has a beautiful second and last line ryhme; so does third stanza. The other stanzas, however, do not contain this same pattern. I quite honestly love this poem as is, I just think consistency with ryhme is crucial to flow. Something about a good consistent ryhyme and flow adds to a poem, especially if it has a great and unique message! This poem is truly outstanding!

Margo Seuss
Courtesy of the Constructive Critisism Group

[Chris Micha]

You would be correct, ma'am. I really appreciate your kind words. Thank you so much! :)

[kublakhan27]

An incredibly profound work, and ominously relevant. I've actually heard stories of such events being necessary should the world continue to deteriorate in all the ways you've outlined here...perhaps you've heard them as well. The savior comet was a particularly potent images. Awesome work Christian, this one is sure to linger with the reader long after the reading :)

[Chris Micha]

I'm honored my friend and I'm glad to got the references. Thank you so much! :)

[Woody]

a well crafted poem. nothing off handed. the message in the bottle is a loud and clear alarm, sounded to make each and everyone of us to sit up and take notice.
well done.

[Chris Micha]

Thank you so much, Engluva! :)

[Madalyn Beck]

This is a beautiful write and the last verse really left me thinking. We need to be more aware of our surroundings and how we take care of the earth. Great job with this! (:

[Chris Micha]

Thank you very much, Madalyn! :)

[Kim]

The last verse binds it all together very nicely, though my favorite part is the beginning. It has a clear and sensible structure and it describes the situation in a beautiful way

[Chris Micha]

Thank you so much, Kim! :)

[Sami Khalil]

A celestial poem with a message in as bottle. You displayed it with a comet message of sorts. You must be thinking space lately...:).................

[Chris Micha]

Thank you my wonderful friend! My head is always in the clouds lol. :)

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure. Any time...:)......................