In.som.ni.a

I don't know if I'm dreaming or awake.

To the edge I crawl
You keep me from the fall
Drifting on waves of electricity
I succomb to your symphony

Deprivation tranforms memories
Washing away sanity
Reality hides behind the blurry haze
Lost in an infinite maze

Shadow demons creep
During the light they see
Drooping dreary bloodshot eyes
The life behind them has died

A miss diagnosed entity
Who dwells inside of me
Death will finally end this
As you lead us to the deep abyss.

Reviews

[Kruppz]

A good start. Really love the first 2 stanzas and really could identify with it. It's around 1AM at night (India) here!!! Great expressionism. The end might have been better than is. But overall, it's an awesome work.

[Chris Micha]

Thank you!! A bit morbid at the end there. I really appreciate your insight.

[Matthew Bosko]

The blur or what is real and what is a dream is defiantly visible here. Feel like some of the rhyme was forced and made you choose lesser words for the sake of rhyme. Don't be afraid to "break rules" to convey the emotion.

-MB

[Chris Micha]

True! I had it the way I wanted it but it didn't flow. Thank you for the review!

[Matthew Bosko]

No problem! Like I said, it's nice to hear things rhyme, and at one point I let myself get caught up in that too. Not a problem, look forward to reading your work as you grow.

[Woody]

many seem to agree that it is morbid but, funnily enough, nicely so. I enjoyed reading it very much. brilliantly written.