Lost Love

Just a short poem about lost love and the pain of a sudden breakup you did not know was coming.

Woke up this morning

You were nowhere to be found.

Woke up this morning

You got out without a sound.

 

You were the only reason

I lived for the season

I miss your heartbeat next to mine

Your lips tasted like strawberry wine

 

Woke up this morning

You were nowhere to be found.

Woke up this morning

You snuck out without a sound.

 

Where are you going my fair lady

I will love you always baby, baby

Please don’t leave me if you care

We will always have something to share

 

Woke up this morning

You were nowhere to be found.

Woke up this morning

You got out without a sound.

 

Loving you will never be the same

Knowing you will never call my name

Please don’t take my heart my love

Even when push comes to shove

 

Woke up this morning

You were nowhere to be found

Woke up this morning

You snuck out without a sound.

 

Now that you have gone

I know that I’m not the only one

Who misses this thing called love

The love we shared fit like a glove

 

Woke up this morning

You were nowhere to be found

Woke up this morning

You got out without a sound

Author's Note

Nothing special. Just trying out some things that have been spinning in my head for a little while.

Reviews

[Lady Glitter]

This is a sweet poem, just sweetly expressed. And by sweet, I mean real, simple and true. No elaboration. No complicated expression. Crushingly painful in its bare candidness. And underneath it all, I can hear and feel the agony of thinking that if you had just woke up a few minutes earlier, you could have prevented her from leaving.

About your structure: I would change the key word in the last line of each refrain, except for the last refrain, just as you did in the 2nd refrain "You snuck out without a sound." I'd add crept, slipped, and leave the last refrain like the first, "You got out without a sound." It would add more tension and interest, and better highlight the resignation at the end.

[Chris A Jones]

Thank you for your kind words and suggestions. Very helpful suggestions as well. Thank you. I'll make changes when I am at my computer. On an iPad now.

[Valentine]

All kinds of loses in life Chris. Valentine

[Chris A Jones]

Yep there is. Thanks for reading.

[Kathleen Montgomery]

Very accurate description of sadness expressed through happenings of real life

[Chris A Jones]

Thanks for taking time to review the work.

[j.a. mills]

Your use of the timeless and evocative blues rhythms and lyrical patterning work exceptionally well with your subject matter. My only concern was with what I suppose I will call the refrain, where it seemed less like she ditched the narrator, and more like she escaped from him. The story you are telling here though is very well organized; certainly enjoyed the read.

Thanks for writing. Write for as long as you have hands!

[Chris A Jones]

Thank you. I appreciate your comments and your concerns. Actually, the refrain was in fact meant to sound more like someone who left with no warning and no intent to say goodbye. So I guess in a sense it was more like an escape. In any case, thanks for your comments and taking the time to read this.

[Anindita Janhabee]

Sir, the rhymes are all excellent.. And the repetition adds to the flavour. The feelings here are so well depicted with mesmerizing words..
liked it very much...
Anindita..

[Chris A Jones]

Thank you. Glad you liked it.

[Anindita Janhabee]

It was my pleasure reading...

[wordman]

you could make a song from this sweet poem of love

[Chris A Jones]

This might make for good lyrics. But I don't know a thing about putting harmony, melody and rhythm around it.

[wordman]

me either,have problems with the chorus