X-X-X

A Story by night/light

my x

Im always look at girls that look like you

always thinking about the part left dead in me too

thinking about the times i never meant to hurt you, or myself
and those times i really wished i could help
I see some life of you within me all the time
and you are cold
your words are wicked and cruel
and all the times you said you were sorry
and how you knew i hated that word
through your mistakes
i loved you

and mostly one time in particular..
after a night long, time spent together

we watched the sunrise sitting
on the hood on your car
the light shining
your blonde hair

a single tear drop
"i love you.so much."

i can hear your voice on the telephone
it rings through my head
phrases once said.

all about

the change in you

after that year
college, and nights of fear
we all diseased you and your beauty
the natural you that i adored
transformed
a mutation, my love. and my ruination
all the nights of fighting
and your sick twisted laughter
no longer soft and delicate
beautiful stranger..
you've become all too familiar

all your pain turned to rage
of past that is never changing

i am just now feeling better though
now that i am alone
and i have left you

i still remain forever
in all the time we spent together
while also moving through to a future
the rush
with new needs

monster
that you mistook for a prince
(or maybe a transformation)
knowing a monsters naive love
is much more sincere
yet/us
both
to be a waking dream
oh..
how i dream of those cloudy days past
you
"we are at different points in our lives"
so you think the truth is
it is that neither are deserving of better
we were never supposed to be so serious
i was just always to be your secret lover

for i never falter to
make all delirious
with remedy