The Cockroach Man

I feel my brow furl as I stared intently into the darkness. As I looked inside there is nothing, absolute stillness slowly trapping me within; as the peace of silence has always seemed to do to me. Nothing mattered anymore, I lay alone with a soft calming inner warmth, the slow steady thump of my own heartbeat. Intense concentration battling valiantly against an ever offensive, looming confusion; a steady pitch black veil of darkness that I refuse to be relinquished. "Don't open your eyes or it will ruin everything.".."I refuse to break this time no I won't give in - I'm way too close." I clear my mind of my thoughts as frantically they are cling to each other slowly dying off and becoming one with the nothingness they struggle against. Intense itching is all over my body tempting me, daring me, to move. Temptation.. what a nuisance, disturbing to those who seek to explore deeper into the meaning of their own truest desire.
As the urge to move dissipates I finally begin to relax into my bed. I'm trying to induce lucid dream but I am so tired.
I began to feel myself slip further and further away from my body as it becomes paralyzed, entranced. I can now hear my own breathing as it becomes different, the sound of a gavel, the end of judgement. A plethora of kaleidoscope colors now appear, they contract and expand, formless from the point I analyze before me and onwards, in a series of never ending fractal shifts and movements. A question is relayed 'what is my form?' Before I even know it I feel myself plummeting downwards towards some sort of magnetic force. I get the feeling like I want to leave, something isn't right, 'I don't feel right.'

Without warning I awaken startled by something, I don't know what, and jet up to my feet; and already the feeling of a cold unwavering gaze. All I see still is darkness, as if I hadn't even woken up. Still feeling as if someone is looking directly through me, dissecting me with eyes of stone; but I brush it off. I am normally a paranoid person from the moment I am awake to the moment I am asleep, so I try soothe myself thinking 'You're okay..You're fine. You know you live alone there is nothing to worr-.' That's when I realized

I wasn't home. Where in the hell am I? As I become more aware and break from my daze I realize that what had awakened me was on me. A cold breeze flows almost unnaturally through the room, as if it were someone touching me. Creepy. I touch my hand to my face and feel that I am wet, I feel the entire floor beneath me is wet with cold water. The room is full of an energy that feels prickly like a thorn bush less then an inch away from my entire body. I realize I am holding my breathe and release ..I can see my breathe...It's so cold. As I become aware of my own breathing, I am becoming more aware of

another...breathe...breathing..
'Someone is here.' Someone is watching me. I KNOW someone is behind me.
I could swear i can hear faintest whisper in my ear, 'Hi.' I close my eyes and take a deep inhale.
"Just my mind playing tricks on me." I force a smile to reassure myself that I am going to be fine even though I don't even understand how I ended up in the place, I shift my stance uneasily.
I..
 



slowly


turn and look over my shoulder
I gasp managing to hold back a scream, shuddering I brush the moist droplets from my arms and sides, also to check.. is there is anything ELSE on me? Or.. ugh this is overwhelmingly disgusting.
The wall directly behind me was infested with flies and maggots, like completely covered from top to bottom. They writhe and slide down from what I can see of the ceiling to cement floor. It smells terrible, like a weeks worth of garbage and dead animals succumbing to the wrath of the pitiless sun. Now I'm queasy. My eyes are steadily adjusting to this dismal place, and I can barely see, and FEEL the almost two inch high dark almost black water sway from wall to wall, rippling as the fat pulsing maggots fall from the walls and hit the water. Ker-plunk..Ker-plunk.. as they drop. I need to get out of here I NEED TO GET OUT NOW. A panic attack begins to sting in my chest, now I am truly scared. This isn't right, this isn't where I closed my eyes. I turned back around to the original position I was in when I stood up. The thought 'How long have I even BEEN HERE?' rushing through my mind over and over again.

 A droplet drips from my nostril onto my lip, and into my mouth. Tastes..irony..weird. I break into a fit of coughing trying to get the taste and the nasty slimy substance out from my mouth. My stomach turns and I vomit it up. I wipe the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand which is now encrusted. As I analyze the movement on the water I can see a shimmering light shine through the cracks of two flithy doors beside each other. I tread through the water to the doors and stand before them. Just as I am about to open the door on the right..when
BANG
A LOUD BANG ON THE DOOR TO THE LEFT.  I jump into a defensive stance ready to fight for my life.
The door begins to shake violently. 'HELP HELP.'
Feeling courage now that adrenaline is flowing through me. Suspicious of the intentions of what lies inside I become eager to take on who or what ever brought me here, I grabbed the door handle and tore it open, but what i found inside I would never expect. No bigger then a walk in closet, bright industrial lights beam down and below them there were PEOPLE hanging on meat hooks imbedded deep into the flesh, penetrating through their shoulder blades and exiting from the sides of their throats. Some were still, others shaking back and forth trying to escape, some sniffling, some maniacally laughing, and each and every one was most obviously physically tortured and abused. A woman with her lips and eyelids peeled off met my eyes as I stood in the door way shocked at what was before me. The look of pure fear in her eyes was so gruesome that I actually turned my head away and held my breathe for a moment, but I just couldn't help myself from looking back. The walls of the small room were adorned with varying blades, even the inside of the door was covered in rusty spikes. Every single one of them had their feet amputated at the heel and their hands amputated ranging from the wrist to the elbow. Some had their eyelids removed and others had their eyes just completely torn out, the entrails hanging over their face gushing yellow puss. In the front center someone had their bowls and intestines hanging from an open cut on the abdomen, excrement pouring out all over the ground as he convulsed violently. EVERY LAST one was spewing blood. Some were connected to obscure mechanical looking devices, they didn't really seem to have a purpose. 
"Help..save us.." someone choked..don't even know what to call these 'things' at this point.
"He won't let us die."
"Kill me. Please kill me! God please." one cries.
"The pain...I don't feel it anymore." another laughs.
Disfigured beyond recognition a tongueless faceless one wildly opening and closing its mouth at me flailing wildly into the blades cutting itself open - rope was tied tightly around it's body binding limbs to body.
They all wiggled and slapped up against one another and the bladed walls, sliced up skin hanging off their bones, flapping, clapping, they smiled as if they were excited for rescue.
Moaning all begin to spew vomit onto themselves and on each other and onto me as I backed away. The bugs on the wall were no where as grotty compared to this.
I spun around and looked at the room I woke up in, now lit by the lights inside the smaller one containing the tortured.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" they all begin to roar as I turned away. The sound of them all screaming together was so loud it was almost deafening. No I wasn't thinking anymore, I had been completely desensitized from the hysteria that now was unfolding. I slammed the door shut and ran out the door to the right. Once I exited everything become eerily quiet went quiet. The sound of grinding metal. I could still hear their screams inside my mind.

I slowly tiptoed down the hallway. I started to cry. How will I get home from here?
Disturbing pictures lined the walls, decapitated dog heads in one. The door way before me is covered in an enormous web. I make the mistake of looking up.
A GIANT SPIDER, the size of a car watches me from the ceiling. It's eyes gleam with lust as it stares at me. Acidic saliva drops from it's mouth and hit the ground making a SSIIIZZZZ noise.  It's leg takes a step forward, as smaller spiders scurry around from under it and began to consume the walls. with a  I can see it's web in front of the door so I turn around and begin to run as  I run I scream for help. Why did those monsters ask for my help when I'M THE ONE WHO NEEDS HELP. I can hear the spider crashing closer and closer behind me. There is a ladder leading into the attic so I jump onto the ladder as fast as I can and try to climb my way up. A web shoots onto my back.. it jerks me off of the ladder. I hit the ground hard, the spider begins to drag me down the hallway.. pull me closer.. smaller spiders start to crawl all over me. I shriek in terror as they climb into my mouth muffling my scream. The spider pulls me among all the spiders and into a big hole in the ground and into the basement.
ground down into the basement. The spider leaps on top of me, and puts its face right in mine staring at me. Unexpectedly, it doesn't bite me, or spit saliva on me, actually it seems to be repulsed by me, and turns to walk away.

Author's Note

"Now that you control us, there is no escape, no way to save yourself. We will stop at nothing until you're ours. There is nothing like you. Nothing that looks as beautiful as you. Nothing that is as existential as you, and most of all, nothing as tasty as you. Don't worry, I won't let you die. And trust me, where I put you no one will ever find you."

HOW DID I GET HERE HOW DO I GET HOME
a pause.
"what do you mean? you are home. you return here every night."