Chapter One: The Purple Elephants Strike Again!

The first and albeit strange chapter of my odd mystery story.

My name is Nellie. I am a somewhat average 18 year-old, but for my hair. By some freak of nature, I had been born with bright blue hair. I always wore it in two modest pigtails, tied back by the latest addition to my odd hair tie collection. Today, it was a pair of purple hair elastics accented by equally purple miniature plastic eggplants. Purple is my favourite colour. I was walking down the street to visit my friend, Nicholas Deddle, also 18, who insisted everyone call him Inspector Deddle. It was a beautiful summer day, not too hot and not too cool, with a nice, equally not-too-hot-not-too-cool,  breeze. I was wearing my favourite red reach-for-the-stars sneakers, classic sock monkey material socks, a light gray shirt with sleeves that stopped just above my elbow, black leggings that stopped just under my knees, and a tank-top style soft pink dress that stopped mid-thigh over it all. I walked with a confident, bouncing gait, humming to myself as I walked. A few blocks later, I reached The Inspector’s house. It was a house of average build. The colours, however, were most eccentric. The roof tiles were a rainbow of colours, the siding was an eye pleasing pastel blue, with artistic splatters of paint in pastel yellow and green accenting it nicely, the door was a loud red, a demandingly dark colour among the pastel’s, the garage door matched the siding, but with added purple splatters, and as if to put icing on the cake, the chimney  was a purple loud enough to challenge the red of the door. I walked up to the door and rang the door bell. The Inspector answered almost immediately, sticking his head around the door in that quirky way of his. “Yes? Oh, Nellie.” He opened the door more fully, revealing the rest of him. The Inspector had a mop of pleasantly brown hair, still bed-headed as usual, wearing his usual attire of a baggy, paint-splattered t-shirt and also paint splattered baggy jeans. Both the shirt and the jeans were blue, but faded. “Welcome. They have come again.” “Reporting for duty, Inspector!” I saluted. “The Elephants again?” “‘Fraid so.” He backed up so I could enter, which I did. “Whats the plan of action this time, Boss?” I followed him towards the stairs. The inside of the house was just as colourful as the outside. The carpet was a dark pine tree green, covering the floor of the hall way, which led off in four directions. On the left was the entryways to the living room and the kitchen respectively, and baking smells could be smelled from the latter. “Is your mom making cookies?” I asked. “Perhaps we should help.” “Yes, and no. She’s making them for a bake sale with the used store, but she promised us some later.” “Ah.” “The problem is up here.” He made his way to the also carpeted stairs. To the right was the closed door to the study, where his father must be hard at work. The hallway was painted with murals of what I liked to think of as hippo heaven. There were clouds everywhere, with rainbows crisscrossing back and forth, and winged hippopotami flying joyously throughout. “Coming.” I said. “Hello Mrs.Deddle!” I called as I stuck my head through the kitchen door. “Hello dear!” Mrs.Deddle called back. “I’ll be bringing some cookies up to you later!” “Thank you!” I said, and followed The Inspector upstairs.

“So what seems to be the problem?” I asked, taking my usual place in the desk chair while The Inspector sat on his bed. The Inspector’s room was just as colourful and strange as the rest of the house. Its walls were splattered with every colour imaginable, leaving no room for the murals covering every other wall in the house, his bed had the most colourful quilt imaginable with a matching pillowcase, his desk was the same as the wall, but with bits of dark coloured wood peeking through, the desk chair was like a stereotypical gang bosses chair, but with little paint splatters all over it, there was a ratty rug on the floor, also covered in paint, a barely closed closet, and large windows with patched up curtains. “They’ve done it again.” The Inspector said, massaging his temples. “I don’t know how, but they’ve done it again.” Now, I should tell you a few things about where I live. The Inspector and I live on a planet called Mirth. As the name may have hinted, Mirth is a very cheerful planet. Mirthlings are in comparison much more cheerful than Earthlings, and the creatures here are much more comical as well. For example, the Elephants we spoke of are small, prank playing pachyderms which are usually somewhat pink-ish orange in colour, but the purple ones in question are the most pleasing shade of deep violet. They seem to have it in for The Inspector. “Tell me everything.” I said. “But I forgot my pad.” “Ha ha miss psychologist.” The Inspector leaned back against the wall. “Yesterday I woke up as usual, went down to breakfast, and came back up to change into day clothes. I opened my closet, and there it was.” The Inspector got up and rummaged in one of his desk drawers. “This.” He held up a stuffed brown alpaca wearing a top hat and bow tie. “No.” I said despairingly. “How?!” “I have no idea.” The Inspector set the alpaca down on the desk. “They just did.” “Well then.” I said. “Do you have a plan?” “Yes, actually.” The Inspector went to the closet and pulled out a paint splattered lab coat. “Lets get down to business.”

The Inspector explained the plan to me, and we set to work. First, I gathered some woolgrass from the yard where it grew like weeds, while The Inspector got several cans of gravy, corn, beans, and beef. Next, we arranged the cans into the shape of the roman coliseum and stuck the woolgrass upright in the ground around them, like guards. Once we had finished that, we got some blue paint from the garage and painted the coliseum blue. Then, while we let that dry, we wrote bad jokes on paper and cut them out and put them in a basket. Once the paint had dried, we filled the stadium with the little slips of paper. After that, we gathered the naturally lime stones filling the driveway and placed them in the stadium where the audience would sit. Then  we grabbed the alpaca and placed it a few feet away from the contraption. “Will it work?” I asked The Inspector. “It doesn’t seem to be quite enough.” “It will work.” The Inspector said, popping a lollipop in his mouth, which he sucked on instead of a cigar or cigarette like a classic detective. “All we need to do now is wait.” 

The Inspector and I went inside. The Inspector left for the living room, while 

I went to see if there were cookies and if I could help with anything. “Hello, dear!” Mrs.Deddle said. “There’s a plate of cookies and some milk for you two on the counter.” “Thank you Mrs.Deddle.” I said. “Can I help with anything?” “No, dear, you just go back to whatever you were doing, I’m fine here.” “Alright Mrs.Deddle. You know where I am if you need me.” “Of course dear. I’ll let you know if I need any help.” I went into the living room carrying the milk and cookies, and found The Inspector setting up our usual K*rby Air Ride duel. “Cookies, boss.” I said and set down said confectioneries on the coffee table. “How long until we gotta check that trap?” “Few hours.” The Inspector said as he finished setting up the video game. “Shall we chock up my fifteenth defeat in a row?” “Lets.”

(A few hours and five more defeats in a row later) “Well, that was fun!” I said, finishing off my last cookie. The Inspector was turning off the game. “I’m rolling on the floor with laughter.” He said in a monotone. “This makes twenty defeats in a row.” “And twenty wins!” I said cheerfully. “I’ll clean up, then we can go check the trap.” “Alright.” I picked up the plate and glasses and went to the kitchen. Mrs.Deddle had long finished the cookies and had gone to the study to knit. I put the dishes in the sink and went back to the living room. “Shall we?” I asked. “It’ll have been long enough.” “Yes.” The Inspector said, standing up. “You go get the net, and I’ll get the oranges.” “Right.”

We met up just inside the back door. “Ready?” The Inspector asked. “Ready.” I replied. We burst into the backyard. Sure as skittles there was a swarm of the little purple pests all over the arena and alpaca. “Get ‘em!!!” The Inspector shouted. He threw the oranges in a perfect circle around the perimeter of the scene and I proceeded to net as many of them as I could reach with my net. We bagged quite a few of them before they flew away. We went inside with our catch and put them in a bird cage before they chewed through the net. “That went well.” I commented. “Now what?” “I don’t know.” The Inspector replied, popping a fresh lollipop into his mouth. “Should we sell ’em?” “As pets?” “Yeah. Make a few birds.”

 A wild intervention appears! Birds are like earth bucks, and so as not to confuse you, I have included the following currency chart for your convenience.

Jhonn - Penny

Pocket - Nickel

Doe - Dime

Quart - Quarter

Bird - Dollar/Loonie

Fish - Two dollars/Toonie

And now we return to our story.

“Sure! Lets get to work!” I said. “We’ll need some leads, some paint, a orange crate, and some blue berries!” “Got it.” The Inspector said. “There’re some crates and paint cans in the garage, you go get those and I’ll get the leads and blue berries.” “Right.”

So we got the stuff and met up in the front yard. It was something like three in the afternoon and kids would be coming home from group lessons (there is no schools on Mirth) and passing right by The Inspectors house. “This is perfect.” The Inspector said, standing and looking over my handiwork. I had made a simple but eye pleasing fruit stand like set up and painted it well. The elephants were each tied to their own tiny stake on the desk part of the stand, with blue berries to keep them occupied. The empty blue berry container had been turned into a cash box. “Great work, Nellie.” “Thanks boss.” I said, blushing a little. I won’t pretend I’m not a little romantically interested in The Inspector. “Thanks.” He gave me a one-armed hug. “I have no idea what I would do without you.” I blushed more. “You’d probably go nuts, and end up selling soup at a kitchen, wearing plain clothes like an earthling.” I said jokingly. “Then I would have to rescue you, because thats no sort of life to live.” “I am so glad to see you have so much faith in me.” The Inspector said in the same joking manner. “Enough of these shenanigans, lets get to business.” “Lets’ a go!” I said, and went to sit behind the counter. We sold many elephants that evening. And many a kid got a new minimum maintenance pet. It was about six in the evening when I went home. I said goodbye to The Inspector and went back home. My home was a small quaint apartment close to the downtown of Horseville. The apartment block I lived in was a rather pleasant one. brightly coloured, clean, pleasant, and generally nice all around. I got out my key and unlocked the front door of the building, said hello to the door clerk Mr.Clingens, and climbed the stairs to my top-floor room. I unlocked my door, number 187, and entered my apartment. I live alone, with the exception of my cat, Fizz. “Hey Fizzster.” I said as he came up to greet me, mewing. “I’m home.” I bent down to pet Fizz, a unusually average looking black cat with green eyes. I stood up and turned on the lights. My living room is not much to mention. I had a large arm chair with a book pattern, a ruby red lie-down couch, and a five year old television on a dark wood buffet table, surrounded by my collection of small purple dragons. All but three rooms of the apartment were carpeted in a deep gray colour with flecks of bright rainbow colours. I went into the kitchen, one of the rooms without carpet. It was floored with dark coloured hardwood, put there from back when hardwood cost next to nothing. I made dinner, which was leftover grilled cheese, and got dinner for Fizz while I was at it. I took my reheated cheese sandwiches to the couch, where I sat and read while I ate. After that, I went to bed. I changed into my pajamas and climbed under my purple bedsheets. I fell asleep about half an hour later. 

Reviews

[Monster ^.^]

You are very much on colors, but I've learned just recently that people usually like to read more on the character itself. I once did this, you see. I would also point out that making more paragraphs could probably not hurt. I meant it for that very long goob of introduction you got there. I guess, for a mystery, it has a pretty light mood, never the less, this is the first chapter, so the build up might be in the next parts :))