Apologies

For the one I adore.....

Apologies Dear.....
for I've been blabbering too much....
Though thousands of miles away
I can make out the sadness
through the feel, I have for you....
I can hear you cry
through the sense, I've been sharpening....

I know you are not in joy
neither am I......for I've been the cause....

And the ceremony where you are invited,
I can see the erased excitement....
I can see you standing away....
I can see you hiding your thoughts....
I can see the unreal smile you're putting on....
I can see the uncomfort without my company....
I can see you broken inside....
I can see you lost without me....
I can see you imprisoned in yesterday's conversation....
I can see you clearly and vividly unhappy....
I can see through the mirror of imagination, that you had gifted....

I know you are not in joy
neither am I......for I've been the cause....
And now I bleed tears.....

I am lost without you....
where I can't locate myself....
I can't find a single way out....
Though there are ways everywhere.....
I've been searching....and my feet shiver now....
With rolling tears, with wounds in my body....
With a migraine in head, feels like hammering....

But Baby, I'll never give up....
I am in search of a way....
That would lead me to you....
So that I can finally kneel......and apologise....
and see myself within you....
and put you around in these empty arms.....
and then I shall be happy....to rest forever....
With stopped heartbeat, dried lips and cold body....

Because I know you are not in joy
neither am I......for I've been the cause....
And now I deserve to be dead.....