Chapter One: The End

Death and then Rebirth

“What do you want?” I asked bluntly. I was no romantic, and he knew it. The intensity of the moment made me nervous and awkward: I was clearly on my way out. He was struggling not to let the tears behind his eyes show, and frankly, I didn’t want to see them. Not when we had done such a fine job keeping each other at an emotional distance for three years.

“To say goodbye, I guess.” He replied, unsure. Then he added, making me wince, “…and I love you.”

“Love is a funny thing.” I beat my way clumsily around the bush. “I’ve never been sure it even exists.” That was true. Completely and one hundred percent true. So why did it feel like such a lie?

“Shut up.” He told me, and leaned in to kiss me.

We had had many kisses throughout the years, almost always long and passionate ones, filled with heat and intensity and desire for each other. But they were almost never tender, rarely gentle and loving.

                The way he kissed me now was all of those things. It was meant to be comforting, but really all it did was make me scared. To take our relationship to this level now, with my death so imminent, was frightening. It made it final, somehow. The world really was about to end.

                And suddenly I didn’t care.

                “I love you, too.”

                I finally found the courage to look into his eyes again, but this time there were no more tears. Just clear, bright green. The exact same shade as mine. We could have been family. He looked exhausted but somehow…triumphant.

                “I was afraid you wouldn’t say it. I was afraid you didn’t love me. That all those things we said about not being capable of loving each other were true to you.”

                “Don’t be so dramatic. You knew it all along, we both did. You were just afraid because by admitting it, you let your guard down, and you knew that for once in your life, I had power over you. Am I right?”

                “Shut up.” He said for the second time, and covered my mouth. There was no more energy left in me to argue, or even speak. When he kissed me, I could barely kiss him back.

Then it was over.

 

 

                Her lips turned cold in an instant, and he knew. She was dead. All charades aside, he cried shamelessly. After all, who was there left to pretend for?

 

 

So this is what happens when you die, she thought pointlessly. Everything was black. She felt weird, weightless. Maybe because you’re not attached to your body anymore, she thought. Oh, right. She answered herself, clinging to the sound of her own mental voice. That’s why.

                Will it always be this lonely? Surely I can’t stay here forever. My god, I’d go mad! The train of thoughts was and unceasing mental whirlwind, tormenting her mind with questions and fears and longings.

                Really, it only lasted half a second at the most. Then she woke up.

 

 

                The baby had been crying incessantly from the moment it had left the womb. The nurse wished it would stop, she had one hell of a headache. But the mother was merely gazing at it with that enamored, slightly hypnotized expression prone only to those who have just given birth.

                God, would you just SHUT UP! She thought vehemently.

The room felt strange all of a sudden. Eerie. Then the nurse realized why. It was utterly silent. The baby had stopped crying.

It was staring at her with bright green eyes.