Discovered

Thanks to MHK Melvin for giving me the idea to use my previous story Confessions as a prologue....

          The scream echoed up and down the silent beach, ricocheting off the placid, dark water. The moon was melting into the surfice on one side of the horizon, and the sun was emerging on the other; it was too early for anyone to have heard.

           Trembling and sputtering, Catherine stumbled backwards a few steps, then a few more, and finally, unable to resist the morbid curiousity aroused in her, edged forward again. A part of her thought that she would be mistaken -- it was not really a body lying face down in the sand, but a forgotten towel, or a large tangle of seaweed, or perhaps even a dead seal. But not a human. This was the kind of thing she dreamed up in her worst nightmares, or read about in Stephen King novels, but it was NOT what happened in reality.

          Still in denial, she knelt down, fighting the urge to relieve herself of her breakfast, and examined the body. It was a girl, and though the face was not visible, Catherine thought that she was about her age, from the youthful, slender body. Face down in the sand, her hair shone a honey blonde in the moonlight, tinted crimson with blood. It looked like a halo -- the shining gold reflected the early morning sunlight, surrounding her in a wreath of light. Revulsion prevented her from turning the body over, though with that same horrid curiousity, she desperately wanted to see the face. Would the eyes stare blankly ahead as they did in the movies, with that glazed over effect that seemed characteristic of death? Or would they be closed in a sort of peaceful sleep, making it seem as though the girl would awake any moment?

         Catherine thought it would be worse if they were closed -- it would resemble one of those stories in which the corpses eyes fly open, and they rise, bloody wounds and all, to take their revenge on the living. She glanced away, shuddering at the thought and simultaneously chiding herself for fearing such superstitious nonsense.

         It was only then that she noticed the pages. Ragged at the edges, as though they had been torn from a notebook, they lay scattered around the body in a careless fashion. The wind swooped up a few pieces, toying with them so they hovered and danced above the body, then dropping them with surprising force, scattering sand as they hit the ground. It was an eerie image, Catherine thought, but it had a sort of startling beauty to it. A radiance. To her eyes, it almost seemed as if the body and the papers gave off a sort of aura, making them brighter than the rest of the beach.

        She felt an immense, irresistable attraction towards the papers. She had to know what was written on them, she simply could not leave without them. As if drawn by a magnetic force, she stood slowly, and gathered up the pages.

She didn't notice the blood that smeared from the papers to her hands, flecking them scarlet.

When the last page was within her hand, she sat down next to the body to read. It no longer repulsed her -- in fact, she felt at that moment as if nothing in the world could repulse her. With an almost translike, peaceful air, her deep blue eyes began to trace across the pages.

                                   The Truth, the first page began. Then,

                                   CONFESSIONS.

 

Reviews

[Storygirl]

I don't think I can agree with Melvin (no disrespect intended). This continuation is interesting, but was the writing sincere for you? The tone, rhythm, and even the sentence structure changed beyond what was necessary even within the context of introducing a new character (I read CONFESSIONS 2 and that seems to be truer to your Voice). Seeing the contrast between the three pieces of writing conveys to me where you're most comfortable (it should convey that to you too). Read it over, do you see it?

A question -- what was Catherine's motivation for being on that beach? Who is she? As it stands, Catherine's character seems to be just a tool to get to the mystery locked inside those bloody pages. If you don't mind a suggestion; I think that you should write a quick character sketch of both girls (if you haven't done that already). Find a feature in both personalities to use as a contrast or an echo between the two girls and lay that down inside the interior monologue of Catherine. You can define the dead girl and deepen the readers' understanding of Catherine without the reader even being aware. The reader might initially miss this subtle information feed, but if you repeat it in a pattern throughout the narrative, you will drive the characters and, consequently, your own Voice, deeper. You can use that layering technique with any element you choose (setting, physical description, etc.).

Hmm� I liked it, but I think you're not feeling this one.

Hope that wasn't too forward of a review. I really enjoy reading your work and you have AWESOME talents!

[Rainbow Rider]

Oh, a wonderful following from the first one. Just what I was expecting from you, only even better. thanks so much for the mention, didn't really think you would take me up on the suggestion, but from reading this I am glad you did. ,,,Mhk melvin