Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Paint was everywhere. It flecked the walls, blotted her nose, and caught in her eyelashes. The sun angled through the window, catching the vibrant rainbow of colors that seemed to blend the young woman and her canvas into one spectacular mural. Of course, the girl saw none of the beauty in this—she was immersed in her long, smooth brushstrokes, trying to capture the image on her minds eye onto the canvas. It emerged slowly, pieced together like a puzzle—first the sun and clouds would form, then a piece of the dock, and then an eye…

       The image was also that of a young woman. It was a simple scene; the girl dangled her feet off of a dock into the clear, placid water below. The sky was a perfect robin’s egg blue, the clouds light and fluffy. The scene, quite like the image of the painter herself, had a deep serenity about it: an inner peace.

       Christopher smoothed away the last blemishes from her work and stood back to examine it with a critical eye.

       Not your best, Kirstie—very plain. But pretty nonetheless, in a simplistic way…and peaceful.

       Gathering up her painting supplies, she paused to glance out the window; a young man was strolling down the street. His face startled her for a moment, it looked familiar, somehow, although she was certain she had never seen him before. And he was good-looking, gorgeous, in fact, undeniably so. But he had an air of—

       He turned, as if caught by her gaze, and she had a startling impression that he was staring straight at her. Even despite his dark shades, it was as if she could feel his eyes upon her. Blushing, she turned away hastily. Guiltily, almost—like a child caught watching her parents argue, knowing she wasn’t meant to see but unable to look away.

                Green, she thought abruptly. His eyes are green.

                She shuddered and shook herself. He had been wearing sunglasses--she had seen that clearly: they were much too dark to make out his eyes through. Besides, shades or not, it he had been too far away to determine eye color.

                Wearily, she turned back to her painting. Fat droplets of red paint now spattered the picture, ruining the serene effect. She looked up in surprise, to discover her hand poised above her artwork, holding the dripping brush as drops fell onto the drying canvas.

                “Aw, crap.” Christopher muttered. She tried to brush them off the painting, but only succeeded in rubbing them in, creating dark red streaks which blended with the other colors to create an oddly eerie effect. Shivering she left the painting. As a rule, she didn’t believe in signs, or ghosts, or monsters under the bed. But when you’ve lived alone for most of your life, the laws are blurred a little and your imagination tends to take the reins when given any leeway. And Christopher was already slightly unsettled by the strange sighting of the young man (green eyes). But when you live alone, you also tend be tougher than most—you learn to deal with fear at a very young age. So Christopher shoved the thought out of her mind and carried on. Perhaps, she later thought, fear wasn’t such a bad thing. It had been a warning, a warning she would deeply regret having ignored.

Reviews

[Lady]

What an interesting beginning. I love how it's very symbolic - perhaps this Miss Christopher is painting a vision of her own future.
As for the man with "green eyes", he seemed very peculiar. The idea how his presence has the ability to change the girls life forever, is very eerie indeed.
Maybe before ending this chapter, continue on somewhat about the man. For example, after Christopher completes the painting, she turns to gaze once more outside to find the man, but he's gone, etc.

I noticed one thing I would personally change: "Kirstie couldn't help but think it-like blood."
This may be giving out too much. I would take out that sentence and just leave the rest as it is. You're already giving a huge foreshadowing towards the end. Just be careful that you don't make the story too easy to figure out. Remember that the reader enjoys a bit of thinking and mystery on their part.

I'm excited to read the next chapter. This was a wonderful read. Keep goin'!

Lady

[Tim H]

You have a very fluid style. The story moves along effortlessly while intriguing the reader. The character's name is a little bit of a jolt, (I have always thought of Christopher as a male name and had to reread the paragraph to make sure I hadn't missed something). Great story so far.

[Rainbow Rider]

Hello again;
I agree with lady on omitting that line, I don't know where it was, but it wasn't needed. Your thought was carried through your words so the reader could visulise that she saw it as blood.
This was another great read, your words pull the reader in and makes one see what you write. If I may suggest though, get rid of the { - } between certian words, try using the { ; } instead, otherwise people will tend to read it as one word, which makes it confusing and makes the reader stop and go back to re-read it, breaking the natural and beautiful flow you have built up here.

Send me a read request if you would when you put up more. Thanks ,,,,,Mhk Melvin

[J.K.P.]

Interesting!