My mind is going crazy...

My mind is going crazy like a

buzzing sound of bees torturing my

brain. I wanna scream, I wanna

shout. My thoughts are shattered all over

the place and so is my heart. I feel like

I'm living a thousand lives. So I go

home and sink myself into bed always

waiting for something. Waiting for

something that never came. Is it the

pain which I feel everyday or is it death?

Reviews

[SM Davis]

Again, mechanics first:

Waiting for
something that never came

You have used the present tense in waiting and the past tense in came. The mechanics of english demand that if you start in the present you must also end in the present...."waiting for something that never comes".

Content is again spotless. You take the reader deep into the soul of the character here and there is no doubt in this short piece that the character is in excrutiating pain yet shows hope that when tomorrow comes things may be or get better.

100 daisies...again. Very very good.

[LostCauze[:P]]

A consistent spillings of emotions and thoughts. Wonderfully written but there are some errors. "Waiting for
something that never comes" I think you ment Came not comes and "My thoughts are shatter all over" i think you ment Shattered. Besides those errors your poem was amazing. Keep writing.

[Nana Carmine]

Wow, it's short and simple yet complex and meaningful. I really like it- thank you so much for sharing it with us- write on.

~Nana Carmine