I need to breathe

I need to breathe
I need to live
My life is dark
I cannot see.
You took my heart
And made it bleed.

 

Blood drips on the
ground. There is no one
that can save me now.
I take this knife and
end my life knowing
that you're not by my
side.

 

 I loved you more than
you would known even though
you never quite loved me so.
I cry for you in the stillness
night thinking I will never be
special in your life.

 

 My soul is empty and
My heart is too
Knowing that I can't have you.
I end this now in an inmense
despair feeling that you will not care. 

Reviews

[Sabbath_Nikole]

I think the girl needs to feel something more. She feels all to human and craves for that thing that makes her immortal. Which could be, and seems to be in this poem, some one who immortalizes her in their own eyes. They significant other has failed. This dissapointment, the let down of the lover, and her own mortality is too much for her to handle. So she confirms that she is in fact mortal by bringing about death earlier than expected, which could be an act of immortilization in itself, bc she is controling death. She is bending him to her will. She has this power, and this power, can sometimes lessen the pain.

I really like this poem. It describes love's loss so well. You are not aloneeven though at times it feels so.
"You never quite love me so" love i think needs to be loved. Also maybe you did this on purpose i don't know for sure but there needs to be a space between "noone." Didn't know if that was intentional or not but in case you didn't catch those things...... Beautiful poem.

[Marie]

This was great.

[.]

Aw, oh man :( This i had a tear- This is so sad hun- man, yea, I know how it feels. Ur definitely NOT alone here. The immense pain and buildup of powerful emotions, explodes with a bang that leaves scars on the soul forever when the person that you love dosen't care for you anymore. I can totally relate to the pain here.

Very Intense Write!

Mikey