Hungry Man's Dreams

poem

Hungry Man’s Dreams

These roads are long and lonely when a fellow needs a nickel

Hungry stomach rumbles as he contemplates eating a

Greasy cheeseburger and a pickle

He wants to work to earn his pay but each opportunity dies

As he strives to keeps up his hopes, he struggles ,

But because he’s hungry he tries

His confidence is shaken for he keeps hearing the word no

People all around him are happy and satisfied but hunger is all he knows

 

Will there be any relief to these unending hunger pains

Only if he finds a job or the money tree soon rains

He dreams of steaming mashed potatoes with rivers of brown flowing gravy

Or tempting thoughts of eating  crunchy, hot fried chicken make him feel wavy

He prays at night that soon he’ll find a job to enjoy life

Dreams at night about cuddling and kissing a pretty young wife

 

But these dreams will have to  be pushed to the side until his first paycheck is cashed

He must fight for some positive progress in his life before his hungry body is bashed

His hands yearn to be busy with work so his anxious nerves can calm down

Again, he longs for the day when he’s got a full pocket of cash and he’s wearing a crown

Never could he imagine days like this when he would be haggard and poor

Most days of his life the pantry was filled with all of the food it could store

 

 

Author's Note

A lot of hungry and unemployed people around today

Reviews

[Chris]

Marie,

and more EVERY week... so quickly forgotten and yet they were somebody's neighbors, friends, and even family. And the pressure never lets up - so long as the "Bottom Line" is more and more profits and less and less people to make it.

Chris

[SR Urie]

Hi Marie,

Good sentiments, hard times we live in. Homelessness is so rampant these days with streets filled with those who have talents, abilities, and desires of domestic ease and romance. Instead the mere sustenance for the mouth we must all feed leaves the man in the alley with his hunger and his solitude. Thanks for sharing. BZ


If I may, I'd like to suggest that when you put more words into your prose, that's what you get - more words. When you throw in adverbs like "anxious" and "flowing" and "unending," you sometimes reinforce the subject in your sentences a bit too much . The text becomes wordy when a simpler sentence structure of subject - verb - conjunction - adjective becomes filled up with words that repeat the sentiment you're conveying. When writing, especially poetry, details are more effectively described in additional sentences - or even verses - that are direct, to the point, and less jumbled with adverbs and adjectives that aren't necessarily required to make your point, leaving you with more words than are required, and in a sense corrupting what would otherwise be an organized line of rhyme and symbolism. Your poem is very good, Marie. Just a small suggestion about the formation of grammar that I thought might help your superb writing become even better.

Ciau bella,


S

[Thea]

A very meaningful and thought-provoking piece...Quite miserable to know that some people are experiencing such things like this...Anyway, I like the whole idea...Excellent poem... :)))

[...]

Yes I know about the unemployment rates and stuff. I think it is sad really. People trying to find ways to get on welfare and SSI & SSD. It's a rough economy. I am not going to blame Obama for it because our economy was already turning bad before he was ever elcted. This is a controversial piece really. Enjoyed leaing my input. Thank you

[Ryzo]

Aw, what a great story to this poem. The words flowed and tied in together beautifuly and effortlessly. My fav line: "But because he's hungry he tries" Wow, that line is so powerful and conveys the desperation of the homless guy so much! Well done, and keep em' coming! :)

[Coyote Poetry]

40 million on welfare. USA need to look at the past. In USA history. Had a lot of hard times and smart and wise men create jobs. Help with housing. In sure the people had food. Can't give money to banks and loan companies and expect the USA to survive. Thank you for the powerful poem. I believe must be blind or just don't give a damn. 22,000 kids in Detroit in the Detroit school system were homeless. All the cities are doing their best. I pray for better days. Need men who know finance and have common sense.

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

I am grateful to have work. The economy in Alaska is not in sync with the lower 48, and things are still rollin' along. So far...
Great contemporary writing, encompassing past and present economic woes in the world.

[M Garcia]

Yes there are. It will hit home for a lot of people. Great writing. Thanks for sharing.