WOUNDED SOLDIERS

A poem about wounded soldiers coming home

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LAME SOLDIERS

Ragged, broken and torn

 

They arrive with colorful Uniforms worn

Medals shine but forever

We’ll mourn

 

They aren’t the same as they

Were when they were born

 

Limbs, body and brains bore

More than one could bear

For no more than war

 

Disfigured and mauled

Their life will never again be a ball

Forever they’ll crawl

For the deployment of legions

For those that gather

In the Nation’s mall

 

Forever those broken

Soldiers will be our heroes

For they truly gave us all

Author's Note

Some of our soldiers are coming back wounded. They struggle to gain their lives back when they come back wounded and permanently disabled. I was so moved with their story.

Reviews

[Dinesh Sairam]

That's very great of you to write this. I myself am trying to write one for the Soilders, but still trying. The only off-lines I found were "Disfigured and mauled, Their life will never again be a ball, Forever they’ll crawl". Seemed more like Rap lyrics. You'll do me kind if you only edit those lines, and change the rhymes perhaps. But anyways, I'm giving a 100. Keep writing.

Home they brought her warrior dead:
  She nor swooned, nor uttered cry:
All her maidens, watching, said,
  'She must weep or she will die.'

Then they praised him, soft and low,
  Called him worthy to be loved,
Truest friend and noblest foe;
  Yet she neither spoke nor moved.

Stole a maiden from her place,
  Lightly to the warrior stept,
Took the face-cloth from the face;
  Yet she neither moved nor wept.

Rose a nurse of ninety years,
  Set his child upon her knee—
Like summer tempest came her tears—
  'Sweet my child, I live for thee.'

~ Alfred Tennyson.

[erik_nihil]

I truly appreciate the sentiment. I served in the Navy, and my brother-in-law just returned from Iraq three weeks ago, with some horrible stories to tell, and some hopeful ones. It seems to me that most of the country is just talk, with the politicians babbling on about supporting the troops while at the same time sending them off to war ill-equipped, with no clear military strategy, drafting them through the back door by using the National Guard, and then, when they come home injured, packing them like rats in derelict buildings, providing little proper care, and forgetting about them in general. I think more needs to be done, not more said, but anything that attracts attention to the hypocrisy can only help.

That said, I believe much of the poem comes off a bit heavy-handed. They are damaged when they return, but perhaps not 'broken,' and they soldier on, pardon the pun, and can overcome much of the wear that war left them with. This is ignored in the poem, concentrating only on the negative.

Starting with the lines, "They aren't the same as they were when they were born," is kind of a statement of the obvious, that applies to everyone, and is not soldier-specific, nor is it specific. It is a generality that waters down the message, and it struggles for the rhyme, which calls even further attention to itself.
"Bore more than one could bear," kind of defeats itself, since the soldiers, indeed, bore it -- those who returned, anyway. But there are always those who did not, in every war.
"Disfigured and mauled Their life will never again be a ball Forever they’ll crawl" is forced all the way, and offers only a negative outlook. I got the feeling this poem is a tribute at first, then it goes in a downward spiral. I suggest perhaps to leave the rhyme out and focus on more precise, concrete language.
And the last line, about the 'broken' soldiers who 'gave their all' is again a bit off the mark, since they lived, and giving 'their all' implies that they have nothing left to give. See where I'm going with this?

Overall, I liked the idea, but the execution seems a bit imprecise and even counterproductive at times.

Hope this helps.

[Dilan Gray]

This was a very moving poem, it gave me goosebumps. I love how you describe everything, it is a wonderful poem!

[Arsenic Nemesis]

A powerful, wonderful piece of work, I loved it, great job, keep it up~

[Tommy]

You know I honor our Veterans, for they have gave and risked all for us. They do it willingly, they volunteer. We have a free Military here in the USA. "No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." John 15:12-15. Some come home injured, and some come home at rest, but they all risked everything for us they do protect. My father is a Vietnam War Veteran, and suffers from PTSD. They all give in one way or another, and you have writ a fine tribute to them. I agree with you, they are my heroes!

God Bless!
RLG,
Tommy

[Linear]

And what did they fight for? I will fight for those I love, but I will never fight for a country or cause. I'm sorry Maria, but they join the armed forces, there trained to kill, and kill they do, far away from their homelands they point there guns, and often innocent people die, and all on the orders of men in white shirts who count up the tally in profits not deaths, do they care as they give out medals while mothers weep as more sons are lost to the gods of war.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Sometimes the psychological damage is worse then the physical for soldiers of war... you told it straight on and that is what the truth is about... "All gave some and some gave all"

[Priyankaabhilaashi]

A salute to soldiers..!!!!

[SR Urie]

Thank you, Marie.
Deployments and war and separations and having to stand up to America's enemies does take its toll on one's mind and, unfortunately, body. And coming home is more important than you can imagine, especially if there is someone to come home to. Thank God our society is no longer treating its veteran like back in the war in Viet Nam; I guess that when we get attacked on our own soil, like 9-11, it makes war more popular and more worth putting our country into TRILLIONS of dollars in debt, but that's another issue, isn't it?
Anyway, thanks Marie. You are a great citizen and an exquisite poet. BZ

[Moonflower]

Very well done, a heart breakingly true write.

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

This was moving- tears came to my eyes reading this, touching and heartfelt..
Beautiful job