Saying good-bye to my last slow sunset with Portia overlooking the Hoover Dam was the perfect way to remember my very last moments on planet Earth.Thank goodness the invention of the Venus-Life Station would carry us to outer space before the fast projecting asteroid Vega would fatally strike the planet Earth.
Since 911, there were several underground movements organized to travel to other planets, hoping to invent a better way of life on a new planet.Thank goodness for miracles because it’s out of tragedy that the Venus-Life Station was built; we were among five-hundred passengers to board the space vehicle.
Five hundred people green at creating harmony in the world, but all focused seeking a future full of happiness and devoid of war’s carnage and disharmony.This wasn’t a game now, we were launching off to save lives and to extend time for a portion of Earth’s former population.
Now we were drifting off with our view of the Earth getting smaller and smaller; while our futures were growing brighter and more hopeful.We left behind our sad memories of our former planet because humanity’s brutality and acts of terror grew too intense to miss.
Letting go of what was left behind was simple for all of us.Daring to dream of our future was easier to reach for by leaving blood, death and destruction behind; in outer space our life of peace was launched.
My sci-fi fantasy. I think I started this fantasy the day of 911.
I wrote this for the ten word contest. Here are the words:
sunset
invent
lives
passengers
time
game
underground
green
happiness
Good-bye
My Review
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"before the fast projecting asteroid Vega" - "projecting"? I don't think this means what you think it means. Also, there's already a star named Vega, and it's a very well-known one - we wouldn't give that name to an asteroid, too.
"Since 911" - "Since 9-11" (big difference)
"travel to other planets, hoping to invent a better way of life on a new planet." - awkward - try " travel to other planets, hoping to invent a better way of life there" instead
comma after "Thank goodness for miracles"
don't hyphenate "five hundred'
Five hundred people is far too few to form a sustainable colony on their own. Too small a gene pool, for one thing.
"all focused seeking" - "all focused on seeking"
period or semicolon, not comma, after "This wasn't a game now"
comma, not semicolon, after "smaller and smaller"
There's not really a story here, just a description of a situation.
"before the fast projecting asteroid Vega" - "projecting"? I don't think this means what you think it means. Also, there's already a star named Vega, and it's a very well-known one - we wouldn't give that name to an asteroid, too.
"Since 911" - "Since 9-11" (big difference)
"travel to other planets, hoping to invent a better way of life on a new planet." - awkward - try " travel to other planets, hoping to invent a better way of life there" instead
comma after "Thank goodness for miracles"
don't hyphenate "five hundred'
Five hundred people is far too few to form a sustainable colony on their own. Too small a gene pool, for one thing.
"all focused seeking" - "all focused on seeking"
period or semicolon, not comma, after "This wasn't a game now"
comma, not semicolon, after "smaller and smaller"
There's not really a story here, just a description of a situation.
I loved the idea of leaving in Venus although it's a boiling 400 C at present..and is poisonous and also cold at the leeward side of the sun. But a really elegant short sci-fi piece where you bring together peace, sci-fi, anthropogenic deterioration of the Earth and so much more..Good job..A very fertile brain indeed you have !!