Roman Candle

A snuff of a poem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roman Candle

I lost your Respect

Soon I felt Like your Creepy

Crawly Insect

Dodging your repellant

Your constant inspection

 

Once spoon

Fed the

Nourishing

Golden honey

Of your endless love

 

Without notice

Left in the cold

Abandoned

With a mighty shove

Left without money

 

 

How could love

As hot as a

Roman candle

Fizzle out to be

Cold and lifeless

As a frozen pan handler?

 

You were my

Manna from heaven

Now you’re my bite

Of bitter unleavened bread

 

Most days I

Walk around

like I'm dead

Without you

In my bed

To caress

 

How could such

Loving things be said,

When none of them

Could possibly be kept?

 

Because of you

I’ve

Wept

     Wept

          And Wept.

 

Didn’t I

Deserve an

Ounce of

Your respect?

 

 

Author's Note

I wrote this a few months ago. I've worked on it off an on. I couldn't get it out of my head. It still needs a little polishing. Let me know what you think.

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

I firmly believe the best poetry is what
comes out of your head replete with all
mistakes. Every part of it has something
to do with what you were feeling when it
was written, to change a word changes the
meaning in some way.
This poem suggests that you were abused,
that you gave yourself to a man who turned
out to be a louse. Don`t change it.
Your poem is magnificent as it stands.
------- Eagle Cruagh

[sarah]

this is great really has an amazing flow and message great work!

[Robin]

an uncut diamond is still an diamond ..

[Jibey]

Just leave it as it is... I loved the image at the beginning and the colour of the font alongside... it looked very good... The idea of being treated like an insect is strong... and then the honey, later the manna turning to bitter bread... - and the central idea of a firework that shots bright delight into the sky but now is dead is very effective...

[Adam :P]

i like it how it is, maybe a little polish, but its already very well written.