Roman Candle

A snuff of a poem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roman Candle

I lost your Respect

Soon I felt Like your Creepy

Crawly Insect

Dodging your repellant

Your constant inspection

 

Once spoon

Fed the

Nourishing

Golden honey

Of your endless love

 

Without notice

Left in the cold

Abandoned

With a mighty shove

Left without money

 

 

How could love

As hot as a

Roman candle

Fizzle out to be

Cold and lifeless

As a frozen pan handler?

 

You were my

Manna from heaven

Now you’re my bite

Of bitter unleavened bread

 

Most days I

Walk around

like I'm dead

Without you

In my bed

To caress

 

How could such

Loving things be said,

When none of them

Could possibly be kept?

 

Because of you

I’ve

Wept

     Wept

          And Wept.

 

Didn’t I

Deserve an

Ounce of

Your respect?

 

 

Author's Note

I wrote this a few months ago. I've worked on it off an on. I couldn't get it out of my head. It still needs a little polishing. Let me know what you think.

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

I firmly believe the best poetry is what
comes out of your head replete with all
mistakes. Every part of it has something
to do with what you were feeling when it
was written, to change a word changes the
meaning in some way.
This poem suggests that you were abused,
that you gave yourself to a man who turned
out to be a louse. Don`t change it.
Your poem is magnificent as it stands.
------- Eagle Cruagh

[Steve]

I love this lay out! Very nice job visually and in words too. Heart breaking stuff but well done!

[Short.Nerd]

Love it!

[Michael of Gilead]

Fireworks, one sided evidently...

[Linear]

Good, I think, it mirrors what so many go through in lifes loves, it's hard to find a true soul mate, to many people seem to rush at love, jump in the sack and believe lust is love, instead of waiting, getting to really know that person, it may take months sometimes years, then marry, oh yes the sexual side will be perfect with mutual respect.

Sorry for going on lol

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Wow Marie. This is one tear jerker.
Your honesty cuts like a blade.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Well, it sounds pretty clear to me! Enough with the weeping...time to move on!

[Cynthia]

Love it!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Sometimes the heat of love warms the heart but when it gets too hot it can burn us beyond recognition... i found this verse interesting...

You were my
Manna from heaven
Now you’re my bite
Of bitter unleavened bread

and the ending was straight up perfect.

[.]

"You were my
Manna from heaven
Now you’re my bite
Of bitter unleavened bread"
~~u r such a magnificent writer-
the way u constructed this is just
masterful Marie~wow~just so impressive!!!~~~

:)

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

I loved it, had great flow and deep meaning!